Ifreke Inyang [@ifreke]
MONDAY: It’s 11th of October, 2010, the day after the famous 10/10/10. “Good morning world. May dis week be a 10/10 week for everyone of you.” @deejayneptune tweeted irrespective of the change in date. On this date, about sixteen years ago, @da_weirdmc01 lost her mother and was in a reflective mood. “2day, am in a reflective mood,” she tweeted. “My mum passed 16years ago. I miss her like mad. In d same vein, am playin a lot of Da Grin’s tracks.” Over the weekend, Sound Sultan unveiled some of his new tracks in an exclusive album listening party. One artiste that couldn’t make it was MI Abaga. He apologized in his tweet. “Thanks to everyone who sent me get well wishes,” he thanked with his handle, @mi_abaga. “I appreciate dem and am getting better. My apologies for missin @soundsultan’s album listening party yesterday.” @ik_osakioduwa was also full of praises for some waiters. “Is it me or are the waiters at Butchers’ Shop really friendly? Nothing like when good food meets great service!” Speaking of services rendered, @playbackgenius asked stand-up comics to step up their game. “Nigerian comedians need to step up their branding up,” he adviced. “Basketmouth is on point tho..” BBM folks are not comedians but you’ve got to hand it to them. They come up with interesting concepts for broadcasts every now and then. Today, they sent one out asking willing people to update with what their relationship status was, with designer names such as Prada (which denoted single, if I remember well). @drewbaba however didn’t take part in the game. “My status on BBM says sleeping,” he said. “but I am awake on twitter!”
TUESDAY: @saucekibaba gave an opinion of twitter. “Twitter is like a snitch. I can turn on and off whenever I wanna. Oh nw,taking tins personal will get u many sleepless nights.. Dream of real life..!” In the real life, tweeps were talking so much about food. “Wow! I feel like amala shitta right now,” @comedyjedi who is outside the country tweeted. “Can’t wait to come home!” @punjahpunjee who just came back into the country was having his own food/weight issues. He tweeted: “Am abt to eat hot fufu, okro, a huge turkey, multiple kidneys and a cold glass of pineapple extract. Will this fatten me up? I keep getting lighter instead..” @valohu seemed to know exactly what to do. “I noticed I lost a bit of weight from the Lasgidi trip. Time to gain em back and I know how! *wink*” She didn’t tell us how but @walegafar was having headaches teaching a friend how to download. “Some ppl r slow sha! Bin explainin how to download to some guy on my BBM since morning!” he lamented. BBM people did what they knew how to do best – broadcast! And today, they were urging us to vote for the Nigerian housemate, Uti Nwachukwu (@siruti) in the Big Brother House. It was the final week of the show and they sent out links where you could even vote multiple times for him.
WEDNESDAY: The broadcasts were still circulating in different versions and @TundeEdnut was fed up. He showed his anger in his tweet. “F**k Big Brother! If anybody win, dem nor go give u anything frm d money.. Pls! If u send me one more broadcast to vote Uti.. I shall delete u!” I’m not sure he got one more as everyone’s attention turned to the news in Chile. The 33 miners who were trapped some 2,000 feet beneath the earth were being rescued. “Forget d Beta Awards! It will be on repeat for the next year and a half!” @nigerianvixen implored. “Tune into CNN so that we can pray together for d Chilean miners..” @medianemesis wasn’t watching but his heart was with the miners. “The Chilean mine rescue is going on. Wish I was watching CNN now. History is being made.” The rescue operation itself involved a capsule being sent into the earth with a rescuer who bore specific instructions on how to take each miner up. “Ok, at dis rate, it shud take abt an hour for each miner,” @captdemuren calculated. “There are 33 guys down there. So we mite still be at dis for the next 33 hours.” Trust tweeps to relate the incident to Nigeria. “If the miners were stuck in Naija, you best believe that as they were being rescued, d police will ask ‘anything for d boys?’” @iskminov took it from a very different angle though. “U’re kidnapped and a guy rescues u by letting out a nasty fart dat caused d kidnappers to flee. He is a genuine MESSiah!”
THURSDAY: Whether the Chilean rescue operation can be described as messianic is another story. But all the miners came out safely. @eggheader was on hand to help us with the statistics. “68 days, 33 miners, 22hours and 37 minutes. One united country. That’s the story of the year!” @stanvito still saw the Nigerian side to it all. “So while Chile wraps up disvvery accomplished mission, can we all now remember that flood is ravaging some areas in Lagos and Ogun states?” @jideaboderin had the Federal Capital Territory on his mind. “Abuja on my mind,” he tweeted. “I can’t wait to see my baby!” @ayoshonaiya who was in London was thinking of another place. “London don dey cold. That’s it! Atlanta, here I come and it’s Clayton County!” he tweeted.
FRIDAY: @sarahofili confirmed London was still cold. “Anyone outside London?” she asked. “It’s friggin cold today! Wish I cud walk around wrapped in my blanket!” It was a different scenario in Abuja. “Now dis is sad,” @nzesylva tweeted. “Most major roads inside Abuja City have been closed. What is really happening?” Even @jessejagz who was at the airport wasn’t having it easy. “I’m stuck in the Abuja airport. Can’t get a flight back to Lag and there r like a billion ppl here!” It was all sad stories in Abuja though. @saphhirechic had good news. “Only God could av done it. A year after resigning, I was called back. I now av a better offer and a better position. My new address is somwher in Wuse 2” she announced. @warebi had an announcement of hers to make: “Whosoever knows Saucekid shud tell him I giv him one week. If he doesn’t tell us wat ‘sinzu’ means, there’ll be a bomb blast in his house! Lol!”
You don’t need to go that far @warebi. By the next am doing another roundup in a week’s time, @saucekibaba would have sufficiently enlightened us on his catchphrases.
Gbagaun of the week: Apparently, the First lady ‘shelled’ in a speech she delivered this week, and her statement was tweeted and retweeted it. In case you haven’t heard yet, it went thus: “The President was once a child and the d Senators were once a children..”
Recommended: Who to follow this week? If you love witty and crazy people, then you should go to @demiladeR and click ‘follow’!
Quote my tweet: @donjazzymohits: “Oh one more thing tweeps… It’s IMPOSSIBLE for Killz to beat up D’banj and for Wande Coal to slap 9ice. So pls stop d rumours… Thanks a lot!”