10 misconceptions about online dating that are keeping you single

by Ronnie Ann Ryan

love-online

Your online dating profile is not the place to display vacation photos. The only pictures to post are photos of you, standing or sitting alone.

Many singles have a lot of misconceptions about how online dating works. As a dating coach for women over 40, I have come up with the most frequent mistaken ideas that need to be dispelled. Once you have a more accurate understanding of how the process works, your chances to connect will improve dramatically!

1. The steps required to find love online are not obvious. Most women think they already know everything needed to find love online, but that’s not often true. Assumptions cause daters to become disillusioned quickly. Take time to learn what works because onlinedating does require some skill to have good experiences.

2. There are so many choices that you can afford to be picky. Yes, there are millions of singles online and yet, I’ve had clients who viewed 5,000 profiles and couldn’t find more than five decent men to contact. It’s easy to disqualify men quickly. But, to find love, say yes to more men and actually meet them because dating is a numbers game. The more men you meet, the better your chances will be of finding a good match.

3. Your profile should say everything there is about you. This big misconception leads women to write long and boring profiles that men do not read. Your online dating profile is not your resume. It’s a form of advertising meant to capture a man’s attention so he emails you. You can fill him in about the rest later as you get to know each other.

4. You should weed out the “wrong” guys by explaining the type you don’t want. Unfortunately, when you talk about the kind of man you don’t want, you sound negative, hard to please and maybe even a little like a man-hater. Don’t do it! Write about the kind of guy you want since this is far more appealing to men.

5. Spelling errors show a man’s intelligence. I don’t have a single client whose wish list for the ideal mate includes good spelling. Yet, women constantly disqualify men due to spelling. Spelling does not indicate intelligence. People who excel in math often aren’t as good with language skills. Plus, being good at spelling won’t make a man loyal, fun, loving or good in bed. Overlook a few errors to find out if the man is a potential mate, not an English teacher.

6. Express yourself by posting your favorite vacation photos. Your online dating profile is not the place to display vacation photos. The only pictures to post are photos of you, standing or sitting alone. Sunsets or party shots distract men from focusing on you.

7. Who cares if your photo isn’t current? The men you hope to meet and date care! A photo that’s a few years old is okay if you still look the same. However, if you’ve gained weight, changed your hair or aged (when your photo is 10 years old or more), this is false advertising. You don’t want a man to be disappointed when he meets you, so post current photos.

8. Everybody lies about age. That’s not exactly true. Yes, some people fudge their age, but keep in mind you are starting your relationship with a lie. As a dating coach for women, I don’t advise this. If you feel you must fudge because you’re on the cusp of a decade (42, 51, etc.), admit your real age in the profile. You’ll show up in the age search, but he’ll know your real number.

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Read this article in Your Tango

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija

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