“You shouldn’t fear letting your man know when he’s upset you….That type of communication should make [you and your partner] closer.”
It’s not always easy to tell the difference between lust, sexlove and true love. You know you have something special with your man, but you’re still feeling things out and figuring out where you stand. But how do you know when it’s truly true love? According to Madame Noire, there are 7 things you should be comfortable doing in front of your guy.
Every relationship differs, but being yourself ensures happiness on both ends. Sometimes that means showing your not-so-boyfriend-friendly side. And true love means finding a guy who is totally okay with (and sometimes even crazy about) that side. So, without further adieu, here are Madame Noire’s compilation of things you should be able to do in front of a guy you truly love. Oh, and then there’s how I’m making out in my relationship.
1. Getting mad (at him): “You shouldn’t fear letting your man know when he’s upset you….That type of communication should make [you and your partner] closer.” We rarely fight, but once a month, without fail, my inner lady-beast unleashes on the person closest to me: my lovahhhh. But J is seriously so good at putting up with my PMS mood swings that always wind up directed at him. Last week I got angry when he stood too close to me in the bathroom while I was blowdrying my hair (there is no rhyme or reason) and he knew just to walk away from the situation. He’s even matured to the point where he knows that sometimes I just need to vent. So he doesn’t argue back, he just listens. I can’t ask for more than that.
2. Getting mad (at others): “It’s healthy to be a bit of a crazy you-know-what sometimes, and you want a man that is not only okay with that, but finds it attractive that you don’t let anyone step on you.” J encourages me to be less of a push-over (especially at work when I tend to stand in a corner quivering in fear) and stand up for myself, even if that means turning into a not-so-nice version of myself. He’s my biggest cheerleader (he has spirit fingers to prove it) and I feel braver pitching new ideas when I know J has my back.
3. Crying: “Give him that chance [to make you feel better] and don’t go hide whenever you feel the need to cry.” Okay, so, I’m not really huge on the waterworks. But I do have one guilty pleasure: watching Grey’s Anatomy every week and balling like a baby. J wonders why I would watch a show that makes me tear up so badly and I just tell him that it’s my one release a week (I really feel better after that one good cry). He kind of gets it. He just goes in the other room when Grey’s is on now.
4. Being insecure: “You want a man who hugs you, gives you that reassurance, indulges you in your momentary lapse of insecurity, and then forgets about it.” GUILTY! I have become such a codependent dresser. I literally cannot choose an outfit in the morning without getting J’s approval (what can I say, my man has style). But starting off my day hearing my boyfriend tell me he likes the way I look allows me to feel confident (and loved) and ready to tackle the world.
5. Looking unkempt: “Men feel closer to a woman when they get to hang in bed with her, looking the way she only looks at home.” Here at Glamour, we’re always hearing that guys love girls when they’re less done up. They prefer the jeans and tee look. That’s guy pretty. But even I had a hard time letting my guard down with J in the beginning—I wanted to look as put-together and sexy as possible for him all the time. And then we moved in together. Now he comes home and finds me with my sweatpants and glasses on eating ice cream right out of the container…and he joins me.
6. Getting sick: “If you’re going to spend your life with this person, they need to know that you are human.” Let’s see. There was that first weekend being sick at home together a few months back, the time I passed out in the shower during sexy time…and then there was last weekend when I drunkenly puked on his shoes. Can we all agree that I’ve crossed all my bases with this one? Sorry J, sorry.
7. Being affectionate to others: “Physical closeness is a human need! [Your boyfriend] should be secure enough in himself to know that just because you hug, or even kiss on the cheek, a male friend doesn’t mean you want to tear his clothes off.” I have tons of guy friends and J has even more girl friends. He has never complained about me being affectionate with others, but that might be because when we’re out with a group of people I make sure to give him extra attention. I’ll be the first to admit it: I love PDA with my man. And no, I don’t mean over-the-top making out in front of our friends. But I am guilty of grabbing his ass in public. God, I love that ass. And he knows it. So, no, J doesn’t mind if I give my high school bud a kiss hello.
Where do you stand with your boyfriend according to this list? Are you comfortable enough to show him your not-so-boyfriend-friendly side? Would you say you’re in true love?
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.