by Lisa Washington
Secrets are sometimes kept in order to spare another person’s feelings. But in a relationship, there are few, if any, things that should be kept secret from someone whom you love. Things like a criminal history, children, marriages, bad credit and illnesses should not be kept from someone you are in a serious relationship with.
1. LYING
One of the most obvious signs it’s time to break up is when your partner is lying to you. Even if he or she has excuses as to why the lie was told, lying is lying and it shouldn’t be tolerated. If your partner lies about little, insignificant things, just imagine what other things he or she could be lying about. The foundation of a good relationship is not and cannot be based off of lies.
2. NO EFFORT
Another legitimate reason to break up is if your partner is no longer putting forth any effort into your relationship. If your relationship feels one-sided and you feel as if you’re the only person caring and making any effort to keep the fire alive, it might be time to move on. All relationships can go through periods where it’s not as exciting but if romance and going on dates are like pulling teeth, you’re better off moving on.
3. NO POTENTIAL
Long-term relationships don’t always start out that way. Sometimes we start dating someone, get comfortable and even move in with them. The problem arises when you have a long-term relationship with someone yet you see no long-term potential. The two of you might want different things or one might want to get more serious than the other. Either way, if the two of you aren’t in agreement about the future, it might be time to move on.
4. SECRETS
Secrets are sometimes kept in order to spare another person’s feelings. But in a relationship, there are few, if any, things that should be kept secret from someone whom you love. Things like a criminal history, children, marriages, bad credit and illnesses should not be kept from someone you are in a serious relationship with.
5. INSULTS
Most, if not all, couples fight. It’s healthy and it’s close to impossible to agree on everything. While healthy fighting is viewed as a good thing, hurling insults at your partner and fighting dirty are not. If you’ve gotten to the point where name-calling, mean comments and yelling have become commonplace, your break up should be imminent.
6. LACK OF CONTACT
No matter how long a couple has been together, keeping in regular contact is important. If you find your texts, phone calls and emails frequently unanswered or you just can’t seem to get around to answering your partner, breaking up is probably a good idea. If there’s little contact, the two of you are probably living separate lives already. The two of you will be much happier on your own.
7. UNHEALTHY
A very good reason to break up with your partner is if the relationship is toxic. If you feel unsafe or emotionally or verbally abused, it’s time to go. There is no reason at all that you should have to feel threatened, as if your life is in danger or that you are any less than perfect just the way you are. Talk to someone you trust about the matter and don’t look back.
8. TRAPPED
It’s completely possible to be in a relationship with someone who you think is great but just isn’t great for you. All of your friends might love your partner and think you’ve found the one, but you feel trapped or even suffocated. It doesn’t matter if everyone in the whole world thinks your guy or girl is the best if you don’t feel the same way.
9. THERE’S SOMEONE ELSE
If your feelings for your significant other have changed and you’re starting to get interested in someone else, don’t string them along. Be honest about your feelings and don’t start anything new with anyone until you’ve had the talk. Your partner deserves to know the truth and to not be kept in the dark about the change in your feelings. Put yourself in their shoes, you would want to know before they began seeing someone else.
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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija
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