Men, men, men, how many times did I call your “name”? Lol. Listen up and listen good!
This is not about leadership or the leading man in a major production. This is about the man who keeps leading women on! Yup. We have all agreed that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, right? Right. So, let me let you in on something that many of you appear to be clueless about. It has probably caused you a lot of trouble and left you confused so let me shed some light for you. You can thank me later 🙂
Here’s how it usually plays out: You meet a girl. You like her. She’s friendly, you guys get along well. You enjoy each other’s company. You guys hang out a lot or occasionally, whichever. You go out of your way to help her – in fact you would bend over whenever necessary to make sure she is ok. She likes you too. She thinks you’re an amazing guy. Depending on the duration of your “relationship” some of your friends even think you guys are an item. But you’re not.
In fact, when people tease you about it, you INSIST that she is just your friend. Here’s the issue though, she thinks otherwise. She actually likes you enough to date you. She’s attracted to you not just physically but emotionally as well. She has really grown to like you because you are there and you do all the right things.
The thing is men and women process information differently. In your mind, she is just a friend you like. In her mind, you are building your case for that day when you will finally ask her out. And before you think women are crazy for thinking this way, consider it carefully: If you’re not interested in her like THAT then why are you being so nice, so present, so THERE??? It’s confusing for women.
A woman’s mind and I guess heart tell her that the reason you are SO present is because you care about her in a special way – more than you care about other girls. Sadly, the thing is when the guy realizes she has feelings for him, he jets, and leaves her hanging!
Stop it! Don’t do it. Guys, if you’re not interested in a girl like THAT, then don’t be there like THAT! Create boundaries. Be absent sometimes. Especially when you start to sense that she really likes you. For lack of a better way to say it, back off. Don’t pretend like you don’t know she likes you. If you’re not sure if she likes you and you have enough of a rapport, talk about but don’t keep being there only to “break” her heart later. Capiche?
I’m not trying to blame you because in all fairness, you are probably just a nice guy who cares about his friends so you can’t understand why she’s thinking that way. Well, women are from Venus. Always remember that. 🙂
So, don’t be a leading man. Don’t lead her on only to leave her hanging. It’s not fair. Like I said, I don’t entirely blame you because some of you are actually sincerely clueless. But that’s why I’ve explained so you can quit it.
What do y’all think? Guys, do you think some women really over analyze and read a little too much meaning into your kind gestures? Do you have any extreme cases to share?
Ladies, please share your thoughts as well.
About the author: Aderonke is a radio and television broadcaster, singer, songwriter, poet, lover of LOVE a.k.a. hopeful romantic(!), and daughter of God. She enjoys good conversation and has a great laugh. You can catch her on Smooth 98.1FM and on Twitter @aderonkehiica. For more on her views on relationships, read her blog The Love Chest.
Editor’s note: Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.