#BBViral: Never fight corruption – and 11 other survival tips in Nigeria

1) Never travel with all your family in one vehicle at the same time. Whether by road, train, boat or plane. If you have a family of 6, split them into different planes, so that if anything happens your lineage wont face extinction.

2) Have a parallel team for every service you enjoy. If you are using a private hospital, have a Doctor friend in the UK or Germany, or even in General Hospital that you can call to compare d jargons they are saying.

3) Never pray with both eyes closed. Keep your eyes open and watch your Pastor or Imam or Babalawo like a hawk. Never rely on miracles when common sense can solve the problem, especially if ur spiritualist is going to collect his ‘paje’ in advance.

4) Never wake up without thanking God, or sleep without asking for mercy.

5) Get a bullet proof vest, and a bomb-proof car if you can afford it..If you cant afford it, move out of Jos, Bauchi, Kano and all the volatile places, you are safer in Afghanistan.

6) Never believe the local media all the time, always tune to the foreign media for confirmation.

7) Try your best to build your own house, no matter how small, and no matter how remote its location.

8) Relocate your children out of Nigeria if you can. That’s what those who are driving the country’s ship are doing, and they must have seen something.

9) Save your money, but never put all of it in the bank.

10) Get insured. Burglary and fire, life, pension, Health insurance. Get it all!

11) Never fight corruption…avoid it and let it go its own way…if u decide to fight it, never take money from Otedola, or any of your enemies, without an intermediary, or an ally like EFCC.

12) Never do anything without a contract, don’t marry, invest money, supply goods without one. Don’t die without a will!

~ Compiled by Emmanuel Majebi.

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One comment

  1. Nice piece. Very humourous but with undertones of correct sense.

    Well written.

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail