by Reshmi AR
Remember you fell in love with him for some of his qualities. It was not just looks that drew you to him. “True love is not about loving a perfect person, but learning to live with his imperfections.”
When you are in love, it’s important to have and show mutual respect. As a lover, you can afford to take some liberties.
However, there are few things that are better left unsaid. Irrespective of the fact that your guy is the coolest man on the planet, there are things he might not appreciate hearing from especially you even if it has some truth to it.
Here are a few common statements that most girls make (consciously or unconsciously) that give rise to conflict.
You are a momma’s boy:
Even though most men are momma’s boys, they hate to hear that especially from you! In some cases, the guy would have liked for some of your qualities that matches with his mom. So, you stating the obvious would be a disaster. Says Shweta Raghuram, a student, “I would hear him say I care the same way as his mom does. But the day I told him he was mom’s pet, he hit the roof!” Every person is touchy about his/her mother and he’s no exception. Hence, avoid bringing his mom into your conversation with him. It would be suicidal for the relationship if you do so.
Ugh! your friends:
No matter how much you love your guy, there are two things most girls can’t stand about men — his love for sports and most importantly the boy gang he loves to hang around with. Irrespective of the fact that his friends are a decent bunch, you still hate to hear him say he enjoys drinking with them. But expressing your concern to him is a big ‘no no’. “He would neither want you to point fingers at his friends, nor is he comfortable to let you praise them. It’s a dicey situation,” says, Sreevalli M. Dating or married, most guys hate to let go of their friends and shift their focus fully on you!
You are always like this:
Remember you fell in love with him for some of his qualities. It was not just looks that drew you to him. “True love is not about loving a perfect person, but learning to live with his imperfections.” Remember this cheesy line? The next time you wanna crib about his attitude, reminding yourself of this will save you a lot of trouble. Says Harsha Sharma, a techie, “Would she like it if I said you will never change? Mutual respect helps keep the relationship in good shape.”
We need to talk:
Oh no! Not again! This four-word statement is sure to make his temper soar! You realise that either of you saying ‘Let’s talk’ means trouble in paradise! Men hate drama, so if you must talk, get candid and to the point! Says Arunima Chatterjee, “It helps to talk it out when your relationship hits a road block. However, using these words would only mean a threat. Instead, ask him to meet up for coffee and talk your heart out.”
My Ex never did this:
No comparisons please! This is the most sensitive topic that’s best avoided. He already hates the fact that you previously dated somebody. Now, bringing your Ex into your relationship would mean war! Comparing your guy with your ex will hurt his ego and you know how men are! They will never like it one bit! To save your relationship, let bygones be bygones. For any relationship to work, it’s important to appreciate the person for what he is rather then pushing him to change which will ultimately boomerang on you. He might end up saying things like “Why don’t you go back to him!” Hence, it’s wise to weigh your words before speaking.
You are going bald:
With innumerable chemical-based products of reputed brands available in the market, you are spoilt for choice. Excessive trial and error methods result in disaster. With the kind of lifestyle, protecting your crowning glory has become quite a challenge. More so with men who tend to lose hair too soon and for whom the receding hairlines are very noticeable. That is definitely one of his major worries too. So this is the last thing you would want to tell him.
Read this article in Times of India
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.