As we make a mad dash towards the end of the year, I’ve pondered how far along we’ve come on certain matters as a nation and a community, and I’ve come to the realisation that we’ve yet a ways to go.

If I may raise a few concerns, then.

1. Bus stops: Dear Governor Ambode, can you kindly tell us once and for all where the bus stops on Ikorodu Road are- especially Town Planning bus stop. It boggles my mind that BRT buses have a bus stop at Town Planning, but for danfos, a LASTMA official stationed at the mouth of the junction keeps directing the drivers forward. To where? Obanikoro? Most times, though, the officials stationed there warn danfo drivers not to stop. Why? If the challenge is that danfo drivers park on the road and prevent free flow of traffic, I say bollocks. The government can easily create a bus stop for danfos with the space around GT bank, so buses can park properly. Same thing for Onipan. Is the bus stop under the bridge or at the filling station after the bridge? Shilo too. Is there a bus stop there or not? Kindly clarify.

2. LASTMA: Dear Governor Ambode, your boys are an unruly lot. A JJC to Lagos knows that Lagos is a traffic prone city, and anyone with eyes can see that Ikorodu road is narrow, particularly its service lanes. Armed with this knowledge, the High King of LASTMA-bodies decided that in order to check the particulars of danfo drivers, or whatever they were actually checking, they should keep the bus in the middle of the road, and block the only other lane with a LASTMA vehicle and few more danfo buses they had unfinished business with. Meanwhile some of the officers were prancing about, as if everything was in order. Why? Please call your boys to order, Sir. Popular opinion has it that this is the season for them to ‘crack down’ on offenders because state coffers must be filled, and important pockets lined. I don’t pay attention to such grapevine nonsense, I’ll just like your people not to add to my hours on the road so that my own people do not get worked up and punish me for needless late coming. Thank you.

3. BRT buses: I’ll be brief with this one, Sir. I just want you to know that the number of BRT buses on the roads of Lagos these days are way too few to cater to its teeming customers, particularly during rush hour, and because Lag buses (red buses) appear to have been banned from picking up passengers at BRT bus stops along Ikorodu road. Why is this, Sir? Are they not all BRT buses? In this recession, cost of transportation has soared forcing people to go for the cheaper option: BRT. And scarcity of BRT buses means people standing on queues for hours. Kindly address, Sir.

4. Danfo drivers: They say it takes a village to raise a child, and that’s alright. But dear danfo (male) drivers, don’t assume that based on the innate ‘superiority’ of your gender, you have the right, conferred on you by the Almighty, in the day that He sent you forth into the world, to dish out slaps with reckless abandon to female passengers just because: she upset you, tried to play a fast one on you by not paying the full T-fare or did not sit where you dictated. Honestly, the things I see in Lagos…
   We took a bus from Ojuelegba and as is common, individuals negotiated their fares with the conductor. As the conductor began collecting fares from passengers, the girl beside me offered N50 to Onipan. Typically, the flat fare to Onipan is N100, but some buses will take N70. That was where the quarrel began, and saliva started flying in the direction of my face. The conductor told the young lady to come down at our next bus stop- Agip- and take another bus. That did not happen. So when we got to Onipan and she made to come down, the conductor blocked her. She began screaming at the conductor in Yoruba, who screamed back at her and refused to let her go. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this deranged driver wozed the poor lady three backhand slaps in rapid succession. Then picked up some wires from the dashboard to use as a makeshift cane (because he brought her into the world and can take her out anytime). He still was not satisfied. He attempted to come down from the vehicle and unleash the full weight of his wrath, when a passenger intervened and paid the remaining T-fare. The whole episode upset me, and I vocalised it. But who’s listening to a girl speaking English? I couldn’t help but wonder that if the lady passenger were male, would the driver have dished out unthinking slaps in his direction? I think not. Men are usually more careful with their kind. And that’s my grouse with this patriarchal society: why do you find it easy to do to women what you don’t find easy to do to men. Weaker sex? Dear Governor Ambode, could you perhaps consider some training in customer service for danfo drivers?

Nigeria is what it is today:cooking in recession, sagging with corruption, tilting on the broken high heels of patriarchy, dancing in governmental sluggishness. But it won’t always be this way. I have faith that Nigeria will be fine. Someday soon.

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So, tomorrow’s my birthday, and I will be remiss if I do not give thanks. As I mark a new year, I’m thankful for life. I’m grateful to be a participant in life- living and not just existing. I’m grateful for my family, who are the best people in my world. They are my hand holders, advisers, gossip buddies, prayer partners, there in the terrible times as much as in the good. I’m grateful for good friends; I’m grateful for a career that I love; grateful for colleagues that make me smile (Roq, T-branch, Kamdem, I see you), and those who make me want to bust a cap in their *** (Mazi, C-kere, I see you too). I’m grateful for the past, as I am for my future, because it will most definitely be awesome. Most of all, I’m grateful to the Lord God of Hosts, maker of Heaven and Earth for life, love, grace, protection, help, wisdom, everything I am and will be. I’m grateful to God because without him I will not be here, dispensing any form of gratitude.

Op-ed Editor