Forget what you heard, Nigeria is getting richer – and more, in today’s news roundup with Cheta Nwanze

by Cheta Nwanze

Public service

Do you know this man? In the pictures and in the clip, it looks like an act of rape has just occurred. Following the ABSU rubbish from last year, we cannot, and should not allow another one to get away. If you can identify the man, or the victim, please send an email to YNaija.

Despite what the naysayers tell us, Nigeria is getting richer. True, there might be a scattering of poor people here and there, but overall, the country has never had it so good. Why, you can see it in the number of luxury vehicles that ply our roads these days, many of them with factory fitted tints. But never mind, since having a tint is now against the law, and since we are now so rich, paying for the small matter of replacing all that glass would be a breeze. It would not do to be embarrassed by a wretched policeman on a warm, balmy Friday evening when you are on your way to have champagne with the boys.

Make no mistakes about it, champagne is the new cool in Nigeria. As a matter of fact, we guzzle so much bubbly that we are now the second fastest growing market in the world for that stuff. All the more reason for the French to get involved in Mali. Any responsible government would do everything to protect such a valuable source of foreign exchange wouldn’t it?

But protecting foreign exchange in the first place presupposes that the government was responsible enough to create multiple avenues of earning it in the first place. Sadly, we don’t appear to that very well in these parts as the manufacturers who spoke to the National Mirror implied yesterday. According to the unnamed chap, “It is not easy to operate in the sector because of many challenges, especially high cost of running our generators. The high cost of operations when added to prices, makes our products uncompetitive in the market.” Speaking to the same reporter, a bank suit raised silent fears of a Cyprus like bank run when he told us that his bank had virtually switched off of NEPA. On it’s part, the Power Ministry’s parrot told the reporter that #OgaAtTheTop is not in town, so “we don’t have facts on the matter”. Meanwhile, there is no light.

Of course, facts, is something that the average Nigerians do not let get in the way of a good bolekaja. Thus, the “little” fact that Nigeria is a secular country is lost on the Muslim and Christian communities of Osun state, or those who claim to represent them anyways. As things stand, a Christian school violated the rights of a young Muslim girl to wear a hijab to school. The Muslim community has gone to court to get an order to enforce her rights, and the Osun state CAN has opted to stand with the school. Sorry CAN, but what is good for the goose should be good for the gander, and since we want religious freedom in all parts of Nigeria, we should be willing to give religious freedoms in areas that we control. My own take is very simple: the young maiden should be allowed to make the choice herself, well, after being shown a picture of Beyonce.

Quote of the day

“The number of Nigerian universities is going to about 150 now, we have a problem. The students coming out of the universities do not have hope of getting employment. This means we are sitting on a keg of gun powder. An idle hand is the devil’s workshop. But a hopeless idle hand is a tinder box.” Former Prez, OBJ, gives himself a black eye after running the country for eight plus three years, and not generating enough employment.

Bits and bobs

It would appear that up until yesterday, Fakrook was still in charge of something. Na wa o!

Meanwhile, his colleagues still want Nwanyi Oma to be shuffled out of SEC.

Recommended reading: A nice little feature by The Guardian on the Lagos Zoo. Interesting quote which I’ve been unable to verify: “Somalia, Afghanistan, countries ravaged by war can boast of better facilities than most of the nation’s airports.”

Some silly Kenyans, not knowing that there are so many idle youths in Nigeria, decided to start a Twitter war. Like their national team will tomorrow, they lost convincingly.

Right of reply

Emezie Ejido wrote,

@Chxta, you are dead wrong on your assertions concerning @BH and their escapades. I treat Igbos and indeed other fake people who in the haste to appear good nigerians dish out utter trash and falsehood to the public with much disdain. More so, a supposedly experienced journalist.
With your level, one expects you to support you claims with figures. 
Please for you info, @BH targets are the igbos who are in the majority in all the churches in the north and that makes their ‘work’ easy.
Death of muslims in their attacks are purely incidental. I expected you to add that they have attacked more mosque than Churches. How many northerners do you see in the church and how many Igbos and southerners do you see in the mosque?
If you can think like this despite your level of education,exposure and understanding of the happenings in this country, one wonders the fate of Igbo nation.
Ohanaeze making noise??? #gutted#

Chxta responds,

I didn’t know that the Shehu of Borno and Pa Bayero are Igbo men. Neither did I know that the four people killed in Maiduguri are Igbo. It also did not occur to me that the chaps killed after receiving the Prez last week are Igbo. Nor the vast majority of the victims who are killed EVERYDAY in that lawless region in between Potiskum and Maiduguri. 

Nwanne ndo, but the fact speak for themselves. #BokoHaram’s stated ambition is the imposition of their own interpretation of Islam in Nigeria starting with the North of the country. The movement does not interact with local Muslims, whom they consider fallen, kills Muslim clerics, and generally opposes anything that is Western. 

I am an Igbo man, never have denied it, never will. But I refuse to live with a bunker mentality over a conflict that ended one decade, three months and twenty days before I was born.

About Oha na’Eze, the less said, for now, the better.

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