by Olajide Taiwo
These are strange times, especially for women. It looks as though there are no good men anymore. Then, this annoying guy comes along and claims there are types of women men shouldn’t date. The nerve of him! Of course not every woman fits into the afore mentioned categories. How come they cannot seem to catch a break with men? To me, it seems as it women inadvertently fish in troubled waters because they are emotional, not logical. They feel, whereas men think. You see, men are capable of thinking out situations completely before making a move. We are wired to want logic at all cost. Why else do you think there’s still war in the Middle East? A bunch of testosterone-driven men want the other man to back down and so it goes, ad infinitum. If it were only women making the decisions, they would have been moves to declare a truce.
Speaking of truce, my previous piece seemed to upset some of my female friends. That was not the intention my fair (or dark as the case maybe) ladies. Just so you know I care about you, I found the 8 types of men you should never date. It pains me to divulge our modus operandi, but consider it a peace offering.
(See the original piece HERE)
(See the response by his “female friends” HERE)
You can thank me later.
1. The Control Freak
Many women have had their lives turned upside down by a control freak. He has an overwhelming desire to control every detail, even when it’s out of his hands—be it the weather, traffic or your life. True, women like a guy that is manly, but manly isn’t the same as domineering. Before you know it, you soon start to lose your identity and become a creation of his. That isn’t love; it’s a dysfunction and you need to believe it.
2. The Abuser
A control freak will almost always become an abuser, but not all abusers start out as control freaks. In fact, abusers are usually nice guys until their anger kicks in. How many times have we heard an abused woman say, “He’s not like that o. It’s only when he’s angry that he lashes out”? If a guy belittles you, tells you you’re worthless, or insults you, that is abuse. If he forces you to do things you’re not comfortable with, that’s abuse. It may initially look like a temper issue, but physical abuse soon follows, and no woman deserves that. Do not date an abusive man—no matter how alternately nice he is.
3. The Man-child
He doesn’t have to be younger that you are as many women assume that men younger than them are automatically immature. He could be much older but his brain is stuck in adolescence, thinking like a 13-year-old and always craving your validation. Being in a relationship with this man will always leave you drained, because it’s feels like you’re raising a child.
4. The Ghost.
You see him only when he wants to be seen. One minute he’s doting on you and everything’s peach; the next, poof! He vanishes and you can’t reach him by phone, text, BBM, mail, tweet— nothing! He’s not dead; he simply does not want to be reached. This is 2012—there’s a way to stay in touch if you want to. Forget his elaborate explanation when he does reappear, all na wash. He definitely has another life that he doesn’t want you to be part of.
5. The Unambitious.
If a guy cannot say what his goal in life is, strike his name off the list. Waiting for his grandfather’s will is not an ambition, neither is playing the visa lottery every year. The country is hard, but that doesn’t mean we cannot have workable dreams, no matter how nascent.
6. Mr. Chop my money.
All he has is money. Not character, finesse, values or even an education. Just money. Unfortunately as women very well know, money isn’t everything; this guy can buy you fine things but he can’t treat you with sensitivity. Being with him will cause you to live a life of quiet desperation.
7. The Fairy-tale prince.
Everything you ever prayed for, even things thatyou know yourself are unrealistic; this guy has it all. He’s handsome caring, attentive, charming, well dressed, tasteful, generous—in short, he’s flawless. You feel he’s too good to be true.and he probably is. All men have flaws, but this man doesn’t have any? It’s all an act. Once he’s had his fill of you, the charade stops and you see his true self. To him it’s a game and he enjoys the thrill of the chase, the delightful deceit and the abrupt end. Nobody said men were emotional creatures but some do and relish the chance to practise their adroitness.
8. The Guy who just doesn’t want you.
There are guys whom you like and no matter how you try, they simply don’t want YOU. They could be taken, gay or blind. Rejection hurts, but it’s part of life. Move on. While you still have your dignity, in God’s name, move on.