Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. Here’s a roundup of the best we ones we today:

1.

Reason 114 of why I like living alone: If my music player shuffles to Celine Dion’s music, I can shamelessly sing along without being judged

— F A I T H (@Retiredsars) July 3, 2020

2.

No one:

Nigerian faux intellectual men: The garrulous propensity of the speaker, is to impress upon the cumulative audience it’s intelligence, regardless of the copious insufficiency of sense, in a subtle fashion.

— ✨Doreen✨ (@DoreenGLM) July 3, 2020

3.

Marriage is sweet, but if you marry the wrong person, it is like Covid -19 everyday new cases.

— Mr Smart1 ???? (@Psmart0) July 3, 2020

4.

Traffic wey dey vex driver, na hin dey give gala seller joy. This life no balance and e no fih ever balance.

— Alhaji Royz?️ (@royzkingin) July 3, 2020

5.

I’m not a happy man, i feel some of the curses my ex laid on me are working.

— wisebaba (@Wizebaba) July 3, 2020

6.

Segalink: No no no, what I meant to say is the lugubrious scintillating of the evidential papatobilities is the meaning of the causation. Seyitan is lyintruth.

Nigerian men: Wow thanks sir. God punish feminist

— L-Dopa (@LolaRxstar) July 3, 2020