Olusegun Dada: The devil’s dictionary – An updated version (Y! Politico)

by Olusegun Dada

Dada-Olusegun

Detractors: name given to everyone opposed to any evil agenda of the GEJ administration, every other thing from bombings, rape and miscarriage is also blamed on them.

Peace Ambassador: A position given to anyone who manages to entertain Mama Peace enough to make her laugh. Comes with a land in the Federal Capital and Contracts

Kitchen Cabinet: The highest decision making body in Nigeria

Presidency: Word used to describe an Automated Condolence Machine that only comes to life when there is a party to be celebrated or an act of terrorism to be condemned. Also can be used a catapult to deliver sling shots to the camp of the opposition.

Activist: A grim-faced man who still wears a safari suit when the temperature is over a 100 degrees, dons an ugly haircut and looks angry at all times

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

 

Immunity: Like a bullet proof vest given as a baptismal gift to armed robbers.

 

Detractors: name given to everyone opposed to any evil agenda of the GEJ administration, every other thing from bombings, rape and miscarriage is also blamed on them.

 

Intellectuals: People whose only job is to think for their country- even if the country is burning and their bucket is full of water

 

Police Orderly: A glorified Politician’s Houseboy

 

Wendell Simlin: Official Name for all ghost workers in Nigeria

 

C-in-C:   The chief of a nation that prefers the pestilence of despotism to the plague of anarchy.

 

Diplomat: The patriot whose specific duty is to lie for his country.

 

Economist: Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

 

Testimony: Public rehearsal of wannabe Nollywood actors, typically in front of a church’s congregation.

 

Asari Dokubo: An overfed fat boy who has mastered the art of keeping himself trending by pissing down his leg.

 

Pundits: Journalism equivalent of charge-and-bail lawyers.

 

EFCC: An agency that pulls down the pants of a disfavored crook until the crook drops something.

 

 

Devils Dictionary: the definitions from the mischievous imaginations of a Nigerian yoot.

 

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Dada Olusegun is a registered member of Congress for Political Change (CPC), he is a writer cum social change advocate. He is a political columnist on #EkekeeeDotCom and contributor on numerous online blogs and newspapers. He is a motivational speaker who is also involved in youth empowerment and enlightenment programs nationwide. He tweets from @Dolusegun.

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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