As it all comes down to the wire, blokes have four natural relational cravings when the need to find the right mate to settle down arises. Fortunately women are born with the innate ability to satiate these needs, even without trying too hard.
The Desire to Protect, for freedom, to shine and to comfort are Bloke instincts that drive him towards the big ‘L’ and providing the avenues for any or all of these four to be met may see you firmly planted in his heart like no other.
Here, I will explain.
BLOKE INSTINCT 1: Man in Charge
I know it’s not the ‘stone age’ but sheltering you from harm makes him feel sturdy and like the Alpha male, which makes him feel good. Not that you should act helpless, but letting him see your vulnerable side will bring him closer because it unlocks his instincts to take care of you. So give him chances to take charge, and thank him after he does.
Ask for his help on little physical tasks or even mundane things like opening a bottle of water. Ask his opinion about a car issue or the best travel sites, it telegraphs that you value his brain as much as you do his brawn.
Wear soft materials. Delicate textures like rayon, silk, and fur trigger an intense response in men. These fabrics accentuate your softer, feminine nature, which heightens his amorous instincts.
BLOKE INSTINCT 2: Mr. Independent
Blokes crave romantic liaisons where the identities will not suffer a huge blow. Giving the impression that you truly understand him and you are not a threat to his sense of self, gives him grounds to commit.
The following stealth moves let him know you’re not trying to ensnare him.
I’ve got an exciting life too – Blokes hate the idea of being tied down socially, so turn down occasional plans. He’ll not only feel easier — and open up more — around you, but he’ll also start to wonder what you’re doing and pursue you more.
I’m not in a hurry to change my last name – Blokes often hold back because they think most chicks are ‘baby-hungry ring-hunters’. So if you feel nervous about committing, let him know. He’ll be reassured that you’re navigating new waters too, not trying to trap him.
I’m much more than what you see – Little changes in your appearance now and then — say, hair up in a ponytail one day, down the next, etc. — remind him that you’ve got zillions of facets to your personality too. Read: no rut risks.
I respect your privacy dude – A physical space that’s totally his is a huge symbol of independence to a man. Signal that you respect that by, say, staying out of desk drawers and not peeking at his caller ID when his phone rings.
BLOKE INSTINCT 3: Man in the Spotlight
Maybe he’s cocky, but he’s still insecure. Trust us, blokes need to know that they’re respected and appreciated. When being around you increases a guy’s self esteem, both internally and in the eyes of others, he’ll naturally want to be attached to you.
Here, things that show your high value and nudge him toward love.
Make him happier. Laugh when one of you loses balance during sex. Go to stupid movies. Drag him out when he’s crabby. If you can keep things light, even during stressful times, you’ll become indispensable.
Play mind games. Activities that require mental prowess — like Scrabble, puzzles, and chess — can prod his passion. It sounds nuts, but proof of your problem-solving abilities subconsciously shows him you’re a desirable choice for carrying on his genes.
Act like the grand prize. Seeing you through other people’s eyes reminds him how special you are. Invite him to an event where you’ll excel (whether it’s karaoke or a fun run), or have him stand between you and another man you think is getting too close at a bar.
BLOKE INSTINCT 4: Man Attached
Falling in love is a process of developing attachment, which happens when oxytocin floods the brain, you can unleash those love hormones by making him feel like you two just “fit.” When he’s so comfortable with you that he stops thinking about your relationship and simply enjoys it, he’ll find himself nudged into love territory.
Take these tips.
Goddess in Waiting – Grooming in front of him enhances intimacy because it’s something other guys don’t get to witness. Just keep it goddess-like (applying lipstick or powder), not gross (bleaching your moustache).
Cooking up more than a meal – Do you know that the aroma and taste of food spikes oxytocin levels in males? The more often you prep dinner à deux, the more he’ll associate you with the good feelings he gets from eating it.
Mi Casa, su casa – When buying groceries you don’t have a preference on, get a brand he uses. He’ll subconsciously feel at home at your place. Sleep with him. Catnap near him or let yourself doze off in his arms so he sees you in your most trusting, completely relaxed state.
Now that I have told you how to get him to fall, go get your dream bloke!
About the author: Omena Daniels is CEO of avenue3 Media and editor of BLOKE Magazine. A consummate man of style, writer, public speaker and social commentator, Omena is also executive director Media/Brand at OUCH Couture Ltd. Regarded as a youth leader and jocularly called ‘the love doctor’, he was until recently editor and chief operating officer of Hints Magazine, Nigeria’s 20 year old romance weekly and also former editorial director and chief operating officer of Nigeria’s premiere inter collegiate magazine, Campus Ovation. Omena is single and lives in Lagos Nigeria.
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.