Opinion: How Tameka knew Usher was cheating (Useful tips for all women)

By Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

This is another sobering reminder that celebrities are not necessarily the direction in which we should guide our youth, or anyone, to look for examples of model behavior.

This past weekend I watched Oprah interview Usher about his life after divorcing Tameka. Of course, the interview included a conversation about Usher marrying Tameka against his mother’s advice, cheating on her, divorcing her and then finally, winning custody of his two boys.

Here’s the part that a lot of people are glossing over: He cheated!

Let me first address the elephant in the room: We all know that if a woman is going to marry a man of Usher’s fame and fortune, there has to be a small part of her, maybe even a big part of her, that acknowledges that infidelity is not out of the question. In fact, a smart “gold digger” would knowingly marry him and instead of focusing on what he is or isn’t doing with other women, she would occupy herself with… hmm… let’s think… how about exploring the many ways that she could spend that huge pile of cash?

On a serious note; what I’m saying is that at some point, Tameka must have had to consider whether or not expecting Usher to be faithful was a reasonable expectation. My personal opinion is that it was probably not.

Here’s why:

1. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior

We can’t be certain that all the rumors that were flying around about Usher cheating on Chilli (of TLC fame) are true but regardless of whether or not they were true, surely Mrs. Raymond heard them. And if she heard them, she must have had to consider if she would be cheated on just like Chilli was.

2. He travels a lot

Part of being an R & B super star is learning to cope with a busy traveling schedule and part of being that super star’s wife is learning to cope with your husband being gone a lot. Even if Usher was the most upstanding of singing, crooning, hip gyrators out there, let’s be honest; if your wife is not available to attend to your “needs” and there are thousands of screaming women begging to play substitute for her, how likely is it that you (Usher) would not take one of them up on their offer? I’m not saying we can assume that Usher lacks the self control and moral character to say “no, thank you,” but it’s very hard to believe that he was faithful when he admits that he was not even 100% sold on the idea of marrying Tameka in the first place.

3. He became detached

In his interview with Oprah, Usher said that, towards the end of the marriage, he had become very detached from his wife. What that translates to is that he lost interest in her. Now, I’m not an expert on men or anything, but I know enough to know that when a man’s eyes wander away from his woman, sooner or later, they tend to wander onto another woman. In this particular instance, they wandered on to Tameka’s bridesmaid. Usher claims that he was very close to the woman (the bridesmaid) and the inevitable eventually happened. Right!

A very important piece of information that Usher shared with Oprah is that he married Tameka out of a sense of obligation because he had made her pregnant. Even while he made plans to walk down the isle, Usher shared that his mind was riddled with doubt,  and to make matters worse, his mother strongly disapproved of the upcoming nuptials.

Usher was forthcoming enough to admit to Oprah that he had cheated on Tameka, but was there really ever any doubt? I think not. Usher is a very talented man and from watching his interview, I actually felt like he was a man of good character, for the most part. That being said, this is another sobering reminder that celebrities are not necessarily the direction in which we should guide our youth, or anyone, to look for examples of model behavior.

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

 

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