by Chi Ibe
At the end of the day, folks will never truly agree on the matter of best or worst. As you will see below, I sincerely believe the names below are some of the worst for various reasons. I’m not saying they’re not successful—just that their talent is questionable at best.
Feel free to disagree!
Everyone but Bach knows that her acting is no good. She is a sweet woman who doesn’t act up or go out of her way to seek the spotlight, but it doesn’t obscure the fact that her acting is really bad. Her face always seems to be saying something completely different from the words coming from her lips, and when her face moves it feels like she’s had one plastic surgery session too many. Anyone so incapable of expression or fluidity simply has no business being an actress.
There was a time of a big debate over what exactly made Ekanem a celebrity. Was she an actress, was she a model, or was she a girl who had dated 2face Idibia? I was shocked, quite frankly, by the debate, because it had always been clear to me that the surreally beautiful Ekanem couldn’t possibly be famous for her non-existent acting skills. On the screen, you got the distinct feeling that this woman going through the motions of reciting her lines was only there because the producers factored in the men lusting (for lack of a better phrase) after her and the women envying her flawless skin. It’s a relief that she got married and gave up her “career”.
Many men who grew up having wet dreams over Ms. Askia will surely have my head for this, but seriously. I just finished watching the famous ‘Most Wanted’ again, and I can tell you this for free—Regina Askia didn’t become a superstar because she was a good actress. She was an amazing star, probably Nollywood’s first groupie-owning superstar. And we loved to see her on those uber-hot Collectibles billboards, but exaggerated motions and a lack of range are obvious for those who pay her a critical eye.
Umez only ever has one single expression on his face. It doesn’t matter the character he is playing, it doesn’t matter what he is wearing, it doesn’t matter what location. It matters even less what he is saying—he just has that same blank stare that only moves when he pushes his eyebrows up. Surely, even he must know this. I find this my most tiring actor to watch, and it gets tiring because for some reason, he is used in so many Idumota movies. What, does he act them for free?
Fiberesima, a former beauty queen, and then pageant organiser, is going through a lot at the moment based on a long-running court case. Hence no more shall be said on that matter. Except for this: at least can she now act to save her own life?
Yes, Sylvanus, who is now special assistant to the Imo Governor on Lagos Affairs, can cry up a storm in movies. Fantastic! Amazing! Brilliant! You made me feel so miserable after watching. Okay. But after the crying’s done, the fact that Ms. Sylvanus’s face doesn’t get rid of a perpetual crying expression is really uncomfortable to watch. It is even uncomfortable to recall at the moment.
Shoot me, but this whole trying to speak and look and act like Hollywood with those un-Nigerian expressions of rage, irritation and consternation? I think Sandra Achums started it. She was a passionate actress, but then there always was something distinctly unoriginal about the way she carried her character. When she was on the scene, I loved her star quality; but I haven’t really missed her since she went away.
Put him directly opposite Achums when it comes to that matter of forced expressions. Everything about Okafor seemed forced – he scrunches up his face when he speaks, he tries to speak like he is on an episode of ‘The Bold & The Beautiful’ which, considering his distinct Igbo accent, is always a matter of discomfort—the kind you get from staying in the toilet too long. You know what the worst thing is? He has been doing this terrible acting for so long, he has actually become quite confident about it.
He is one of those they would call a veteran—but I have always wondered if it’s alright for a man to become a veteran just because he has been acting so badly for so long. If we leave the annoying hoarse voice aside, Bunor is just annoying to watch. It’s that simple. Whatever he does, that aspires to acting, is so inadequate it really gets you enraged. I think he should just stop.
I have managed to break into laughter every now and again due to Osuagwu’s antics, but this is the fact of the matter: all of his movies have just one punchline, and he spends the rest of the movie trying to stretch that gimmick as much as possible. He always fails. Unlike Nkem Owoh who has true comic ability in words, action and timing, you get tired of Osuwagwu really quickly. Just watching him can drain you.
Chineke God, where do I begin? Have you been unfortunate enough to listen to an Emeka Ike interview? You can use a shovel to pack the arrogance dripping from his words. And all for what? Amateurish acting, at best. Ike looks constantly like he cannot be bothered to make the effort; like he is so good, all he needs to show up. Except, he’s not that good. I mean, he’s not bad. But after almost two decades in the industry, the fact that there is no one stand-out film to indicate his talent is enough for him to be concerned about. He needs to step his game up.
Words are not enough to describe how bad Iyke has progressively gotten each year he continues to act. I just can’t.
Tonto Dikeh/Rukky Sanda
Call me whatever you like, but I cannot treat these two names separately. These two girls are so bad that they only qualify as half an actress. Granted, Sanda is worse than Dikeh, but not by much. These two ladies typify the ‘fakeness’ I spoke about on Achums. I mean, how do you attempt an American accent when you are acting as a poor, village girl? And is that English that Rukky Sanda accepts to speak? I mean, if you grew up without a silver spoon, you actually have to go finishing school or something if you so desperately want to be able to pretend to be posh. Time and again, these two young women fail. It’s just a shame some movie-watchers have to spend their money to watch them fail so badly.
Author’s Update: This post has been updated with the very important names of Emeka Ike and Iyke. Leaving them out was indeed a costly mistake and I apologise profusely to tax-paying, peace-loving Nigerian movie-watchers.