The Toolsman wants to hear your thoughts! Does distance affect love?

by the Toolsman

Sometime last week, I came across a quote from one of my favorite bloggers. He said: “Many are unaware of this, but “longdistancerelationship” is actually Arabic for u’re nt in a relationship anymore, u f*@king idiot!” – Champ

I tweeted this and I got a truckload of retweets as well as mentions asking if I agreed with the statement. Again, I ‘creatively’ evaded the questions. As if someone was trying to tell me something, over the weekend, I attended an event where I somehow found myself in the middle of a discussion centered around the same topic. I could have simply kept quiet but I’ve come to realize that as a blogger people tend to expect you to have an opinion on most subjects. I shared my thoughts and the responses I got brought about this post.

This is the ‘Wednesday Dialogue‘ Category so I’ve decided to throw the topic open for discussion but before we get to it I’ll throw up a little background.

It’s funny because I guess I can argue for both sides of the coin. I once got out of a prospective relationship because the girl in question lived on one end of Lagos while I lived on the other end. Don’t bite me just yet; there was more to the story. I’ve also been involved with someone who I never got to see for many many many months and I must say that those months are still so special to me. I’ve sampled many opinions on the subject and I’ve been able to narrow them down to the following points.

It’s the men

Its easy to point fingers at the guys and say we just can’t handle distance because we are physical beings. We have a natural desire for physical contact with the opposite sex and as a result, we give into temptation when we are away from our partners for so long.

Blame the women

On the flip side, the guys can argue that most women seem to be able to handle it because they are more emotional than physical beings. To a large extent, technology can cater for emotional needs. With the various forms of instant messengers, Skype etc, one can pretty much get by.

What’s at stake

Another way to look at it is to ask ‘what is at stake?‘ Some believe the higher the level of commitment, the easier it is to handle distance. The probability that a married couple with a child living having a long distance stint will have issues is less than a married couple without a child? Same applies for a 2 year old relationship when compared with a 6 month old relationship.

Also, if one of the parties involved compromises on way too much to get into the relationship, making the decision to leave/cheat when faced with a long distance stint will be much easier as opposed to when the relationship started off with both parties on the same plane.

OK, there you have it. The stage is now set for our debate/discussion. Do you agree with the statement I quoted above? Tell us your answer and let us know if your reason falls under any of the points I listed. If not, please use the comment box and share your opinions. Cheers

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Comments (2)

  1. Blame the men, blame the women is really the lazy way out. There's no hard and fast rule.

  2. Easy question. It's a resounding YES!

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail