The Thread: “Jesus is 2000 years old and still in his father’s house” | Perfect clapbacks to give that nosy relative this Christmas

?It’s that most wonderful time of the year?? … and you can feel the dread begin to rise in the pits of your stomach again because for two whole weeks, you’ll have all your family memebers and distant relatives under the same roof with you. The jollof rice will be out of this world, the chicken will be mighty, you will pay and be paid visits, but that’s not what’s got you terrified.

It’s the thought of meeting those side eyes and hearing one more person relating stories of the latest 19 year old cousin who just got hitched (and has carried belle) and confronting numerous questions of “when will you give us IV?” that has you shaking like a malnourished leaf in a thunderstorm.

Not to worry. Your favourite Twitter agony aunt, Eketi, has got you covered with the perfect answers that will blow your detractors away.

Grab a pen:




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cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail