Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
1 Cheta Nwanze
Lai Mohammed fingered France as the financial backbone of IPOB, a claim France completely denied. Now that we are left with egg on our face, Cheta wonders what Lai was trying to achieve.
Has Lai produced evidence demanded by #France re IPOB? Or did he vex our 5th largest export partner for nothing?
https://t.co/lQaNkfHHCP pic.twitter.com/px6F31Vhin— Chxta (@Chxta) September 22, 2017
2. Tiwa Savage & TeeBillz
After their marriage hit the rocks April 2016, the couple have apparently mended fences. WATCH:
@TiwaSavage @TeeBillz323 and chris martin of @coldplay jamming to Ma Lo feat. @wizkidayo Prod by bad boy @Spellzjamin pic.twitter.com/WizwbF0Ta3
— Bizzle Osikoya (@bizzleosikoya) September 22, 2017
Awww great to see them back together. https://t.co/OqRKyYL4sr
— Cinderella Man (@Osi_Suave) September 22, 2017
3.Kelechi Okafor
One of the popular car services across the world is battling for its survival in London. Londoners argue for and against Uber’s existence:
I predict that this decision will be a watershed in demonstrating how few people know how to use licence and license.
Dark days ahead. pic.twitter.com/vvTAmZ5Nrh
— The Secret Barrister (@BarristerSecret) September 22, 2017
https://twitter.com/jjvincent/status/911175869783318533
My partner sent me this today. Genuinely over the moon about @Uber licence not being renewed by @TfL ?? #uberlondon pic.twitter.com/CAi85TDDx1
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) September 22, 2017
Uber has 21 days to appeal TfL's decision. Wait, 14 days. No, 22 days. Hang on, it's 5 days now. Oh no they're here quick put your shoes on.
— Steve Hogarty (@misterbrilliant) September 22, 2017
https://twitter.com/Milenasanchezx/status/911181738793226240
Back to life of sitting in a taxi watching the meter like pic.twitter.com/fsZwKnYLVb
— Babarito Torrez ?? (@FantasmaWill) September 22, 2017
Now that's uber has gone
Driver: That will be £74.50 sir
Me: pic.twitter.com/ZFPQk3KjBA
— Babarito Torrez ?? (@FantasmaWill) September 22, 2017
When stupidity reigns, a tweet like this is born.
https://twitter.com/CaolanRob/status/911172944377851904
4. Riro argues about safety.
https://twitter.com/tarirawr/status/911198175364599808
https://twitter.com/tarirawr/status/911198764370624512
https://twitter.com/tarirawr/status/911199028695715840
https://twitter.com/tarirawr/status/911199328374583296
Raya’s concerned about something else entirely.
When your mcm can't send you home because there's no more uber pic.twitter.com/vSH0iynP7Q
— mikasa (@rayaldn) September 22, 2017
5. Deepika
Speaking about relationships, Deepika interrogates this culture:
If consensual sex is enjoyed by both man and woman when it happens, why do women later say 'You used me' if things don't work out?
— Deepika Bhardwaj (@DeepikaBhardwaj) September 22, 2017
Isn't a woman saying "You Used Me" objectifying her own self? Are you an object which has been used? Why not respect ur own decision?
— Deepika Bhardwaj (@DeepikaBhardwaj) September 22, 2017
If women want society to not make a big deal about their sexual relationships, why do they themselves make such a big deal out of it ?
— Deepika Bhardwaj (@DeepikaBhardwaj) September 22, 2017
Seen so many women – educated empowered all that jazz who still think that having sex with a man is a favor to him. Hello? Y is sex sm favor
— Deepika Bhardwaj (@DeepikaBhardwaj) September 22, 2017
What's worst is high expectation of expensive gifts jewellery etc by woman if she has sex with the man. Just don't understand this psyche.
— Deepika Bhardwaj (@DeepikaBhardwaj) September 22, 2017
Was sex some gift that you gave him that he now needs to do the honors of expensive return gift? And if he doesn't you get angry annoyed
— Deepika Bhardwaj (@DeepikaBhardwaj) September 22, 2017
Guess it's time women stop looking at sex as sm favor. u indulged in it , u're equally a participant. He isn't 'using' u. u've made a choice
— Deepika Bhardwaj (@DeepikaBhardwaj) September 22, 2017
6. Aegon
Mister tells a personal story to remind you that just ’cause they said it doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around.
3 years ago one cunt manager I worked for told me she would ensure I wouldn't get a job in this industry again. Today she's reporting to me.
— Babarito Torrez ?? (@FantasmaWill) September 22, 2017
I LOVE THE GAME
— Babarito Torrez ?? (@FantasmaWill) September 22, 2017
Lmaoo bro she came as a consultant. When they introduced me as the project lead/SME she wanted to vomit.
— Babarito Torrez ?? (@FantasmaWill) September 22, 2017
You're doing amazing mate pic.twitter.com/CTNkvqrHnX
— Ladysmith 6lack Mambazo (@SamiaFourEyes) September 22, 2017
Why is the assumption I'm treating her badly. Just her swallowing words is enough. I work like a professional regardless.
— Babarito Torrez ?? (@FantasmaWill) September 22, 2017
7. F. Shaw
Our former favourite handler has a new song out, and y’all know the dude can sing.
Check on it.
Oh look who's back! Say hello to the #KingFisher. #LCL pic.twitter.com/ys3oHTI6CE
— F.SHAW (@FshawKingFisher) September 22, 2017
Reformed social media monitoring spirit
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