Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

Blessed are the shameless, for they will inherit the earth. https://t.co/LuO8O5cW3g

— The Writer Formerly Known As Elnathan (@elnathan_john) June 11, 2019

Amen

Good afternoon. This is your conscience speaking. If you play for Barcelona and Real Madrid come for you, will say you won’t play for Madrid because you hate them? If a political opponent comes to your shop, will you refuse to sell to them because you don’t like them? Think am o.

— Dr. Joe Abah (@DrJoeAbah) June 11, 2019

If you cannot score 200/400 you should write JAMB again. Lowering the standard encourages mediocrity. https://t.co/OKr30cSGxx

— Dr. Dípò Awójídé (@OgbeniDipo) June 11, 2019

PREACH

Ms Abena is BACK ✊? pic.twitter.com/ffuK8kLLhF

— Cuppy (Ms Abena) (@cuppymusic) June 11, 2019

I hope you are not releasing new music? We don’t want to die young

Make I give my tailor make baba nack me this top and colour

So I go fresh like Agege Bread pic.twitter.com/kx5Si1p3Mx

— Cinderella Man (@Osi_Suave) June 11, 2019

You will still look fat.