Here are the ones we saw today:

Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

PS. What is the equivalent of doping for writers? (And please don’t say plagiarism.)

— The Writer Formerly Known As Elnathan (@elnathan_john) May 6, 2019

Let us know when you find out.

I don’t have any gender identity. I am a human with a female body.

To me, there’s is nothing progressive about a 100 gender identities.

Call me She, They, He, Their.. gender is irrelevant to me.

I am Damilola Marcus, human in a female body.

— #SayHerNameNigeria (@OmogeDami) May 6, 2019

OK, human in a female body.

The patriarchal woman doesn’t have a problem with her husband sleeping around (as long as he comes back home) but somehow she has a problem with women sleeping with her husband. Lord make it make sense because I cannot. ??‍♀️

— Nerve Bender (@okemzuruoke) May 6, 2019

Have you asked Amadiaoha this question?

Dear young people, you need these three E’s before you turn 30:

E – EDUCATION
E – EXPERIENCE
E – EXPOSURE

Get as much education, experience and exposure as possible at a young age. It will make your career journey and life easier. #MondayMotivation

— Dr. Dípò Awójídé (@OgbeniDipo) May 6, 2019

OK

Last week, a prominent politician in Ondo State told me he heard I am the Baba Isale (godfather) for yahoo boys in Akure protecting them from Police.

I use 1 phone number, if u google my name u will see the number, i run only 1 bank account too. It’s easy to investigate me ?

— Olúyẹmí Fásípè ?? (@YemieFASH) May 6, 2019

After watching the President’s response to a Journalist asking about his position on the insecurity in the country, all I can say is, this President doesn’t care!

— Henry Shield (@henryshield) May 6, 2019

You people should manage him like that.

Any heterosexual man here had a prostate orgasm?

— Uncle Ari (@MazeDaMouth) May 6, 2019

Prostrate gland?