Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

Nigerian Police advising you to be careful with Nigerian Police as Nigerian Police cannot vouch for the state of mind of Nigerian Police Officers https://t.co/bNZtVZWACq

— tyro (@DoubleEph) May 8, 2019

Just throw this entire country away

Between Chinua Achebe and Professor Wole Soyinka, I would give the @NobelPrize for literature to Achebe 100 times out of 100 times. I still don’t understand how Soyinka got it and Achebe did not. I read their books. Achebe’s works are by far the more superior works of literature.

— Reno Omokri (@renoomokri) May 8, 2019

How will understand Soyinka when all you do is Reno Nuggets?

Yourope has changed me. In Nigeria I didn’t drink coffee. Hated it. Only ever had it as a drug to keep awake in university and law school. Nescafe. Which is barely coffee. Now I can’t do without it. I love the smell. The taste. How it looks. Is this how they sold our ancestors?

— The Writer Formerly Known As Elnathan (@elnathan_john) May 8, 2019

You talk too much.

Men who cook and do dishes deserve unlimited blessing.

— DADDY THE BOSS (@BossUbong) May 8, 2019

Your brain is upside down.

I spoke to @PeterObi. Yes, he had malaria, but he is now fine. Nothing like a heart attack. He is full of enough life to give those who wish him dead a panic attack. Peter, we celebrate you and your contribution to Nigeria. May you remain with us for a very, long time.

— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) May 8, 2019

OK, Senator Common Sense