Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here are the ones we saw today:
Nigerians have a very myopic view of morality and it’s quite funny to watch. When you’re quiet and reserved, it means you’re mature, humble and responsible. If you dare assert yourself strongly enough, it means you’re arrogant and bitter and whatever they say you did, you did it.
— Nerve Bender (@okemzuruoke) May 2, 2019
Me: I have an 8:30am appointment at Thika Road. How far is that?
Uber Driver: Not very far.
Me: How long will the trip take?
Uber driver: Not too long.
Me: Will I get there before 8:30am.
Uber driver: By God’s grace.
Welcome to Africa.
— Dr. Tayo Oyedeji (@tayooye) May 2, 2019
African religiosity is a disease.
A guy impregnated 3 girls, he told two of them to abort it, they did and now the third girl gave birth to triplets. 😂😂
— Lord Fuad⚔☣ (@FuadDallas) May 2, 2019
Take your burnt dodo away.
What da?! pic.twitter.com/DWa9j2BmMw
— Sandra Ezekwesili (@SEzekwesili) May 2, 2019
And so what? Let people enjoy their fetish.
I have tried to troll Liverpool fans since yesterday after their 3 – 0 defeat away to Barca. But whenever I remember that Arsenal is playing Valencia today on the back of 3 back to defeats, I just “gentle”…. It is not wise to laugh at your enemy’s defeat when yours is imminent.
— Yinka Ogunnubi (@yinkanubi) May 2, 2019
You are a wise man.
After reviewing this Tonto matter, I have decided to stan. Talk your talk sis. Release all
— FK. (@fkabudu) May 2, 2019
Nigerians are so invested in shutting women up.
— Feminism for bad bitches (@Anyaato) May 2, 2019
Happy for Tiwa Savage. Impressed with Don Jazzy👍🏽. When you leave your company or group exit professionally. Not like a born thief, burning bridges.
— Dr. Dípò Awójídé (@OgbeniDipo) May 2, 2019
Can we say the same about you?
When Bernard Dayo isn’t writing about pop culture, he’s watching horror movies, anime and trying to pretend his addiction to Netflix isn’t a serious condition.