Too many madmen on the loose – and more, in today’s news round-up with Cheta Nwanze

by Cheta Nwanze

What I will like to hear, will be the defence that will be presented by the person who will defend the three idiots who raped a pregnant woman because of an offence allegedly committed by her husband in Kebbi state.

Depending on which twisted philosophy you subscribe to, punishing a woman is meant to be carried out by violating her. In other words, to make a point that she has failed to see, you rape her. At least that is what those idiots in India believed, when they raped that poor 23 year old to death. However, if one decides to, for the sake of argument, ascribe some sense to their belief system, then the case can be made that the victim, who was the person being punished, was the perpetrator of the act which offended the idiots. At least that’s what I assume that the person who’s mad enough to defend them in court will say. What I will like to hear, will be the defence that will be presented by the person who will defend the three idiots who raped a pregnant woman because of an offence allegedly committed by her husband in Kebbi state.

At least, the police caught the alleged attackers in this case, quite unlike the case of 14 decomposing bodies discovered floating on the Ezu River. On Saturday morning, some women from the nearby village of Amansea had gone to fetch water for the day’s chores when they met the grizzly sight. What I find most worrisome is the almost immediate attempt by the authorities in Anambra to shift the blame/responsibility for investigating this to their neighbours in Enugu state. “It is obvious that these corpses being afloat are from somewhere and I can tell you that we have not seen the last of it or say this is the actual number,” sighed Azuka Enemuo, the ichafo in charge of local government affairs in the state, obviously unhappy that her Saturday shindig had been so rudely interrupted.

As was the Saturday shindig of the Emir of Kano. Ado Bayero was attacked on Saturday by yet to be identified gunmen who instead succeeded in dispatching three of his staff and a local government chairman. Following a bit of broken glass in his skin, it has been deemed expedient to charter a jet for the Emir to head to London for a check up. As we all know, our hospitals this way are not good enough to handle such delicate matters as an Emir’s skin. His two sons who were injured in the attack also flew with him. Here’s wishing them a quick recovery.

A quick recovery is something that is now beyond Kamorudeen Beyioku, who was until the early hours of Saturday, Oyo state’s number two agbero. Beyioku had sustained injuries following an attack by unknown gunmen (yes, that phrase again) earlier in the week. Quite sadly, he’s not an Emir, so a plane was not chartered to take him to London for proper care, and as if to justify the decision to take Pa Bayero abroad, Beyioku promptly gave up the ghost at UCH in Ibadan at about the same time that 862 kilometres away in Kano, some unknown gunmen were preparing to fire shots at the Emir.

Still on the theme of unknown gunmen, a group of soldiers who were en route deployment to Mali to combat yet another set of madmen came under attack on Saturday. JAMBS, a new terrorist organisation has claimed responsibility for the attack, thus justifying with stunning finality, the need for Nigeria to take the Mali situation seriously. Meanwhile, on a personal note, I found this rehashed story in Leadership quite offensive. To be honest, I have no doubts about the ability of our soldiers to carry out whatever mission they are assigned in Mali. By the way, the report that the reporter quoted from the UK Guardian appeared in November, not a few days ago as he claimed, and as is common with mischievous reports, it quoted a lot of unnamed sources.

Bits and bobs

Nigeria’s next President joined the PDP on Saturday.

The saga of Dim Ojukwu’s will has not died yet for those of you who thought it had (Hi Chinua). The Vanguard caught up with the great man’s nephew who bared his mind about Bianca and a lot of others.

Following the spate of accidents on our roads involving VIPs, the latest of which involved the Niger Deputy Governor, the House of Reps will be summoning Mr Fix It to explain why the roads were not fixed in his time. Watch as he fixes them.

Annie Macaulay-Idibia is still in a trance. Of course she should be. If Tuface comes and sings “African Queen” to me, I will be risking 14 years. Oh well, enough of the dreams. She spoke about his sexy lyrics in an interview.

And finally, sexy Mikel will be on display this evening in the defeat to Burkina Faso. Watch him stretch his sexy legs on SuperSport from 7pm this evening. By the way, his legs are worth N1,021,148,776.69.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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