by Eromo Egbejule
This is Nigeria where as we like to brag, anything can happen. Ex-governors can sneak into the country, regardless of the watchful eyes of security agents and unguarded statements made from leaky mouths.
2013, had it’s own share of embarrassing moments and boy, did we decide to relive a select few!
The name Shem or Obafaye Shem might not ring a bell with most Nigerians, but he was the architect of the so-viral #OgaAtTheTop debacle that happened earlier in the year. As a top ranking official asigned to the Lagos command of the NSCDC, he should have known better than to go in ill-prepared for the interview with Channels TV, but alas, he was a learner! If he had known, he would have patented the catchprase immediately after. Talk of royalties and earnings Kim Kardashian style.
The Sodje brothers and the football fixing/betting scandal
Warri no dey carry last, they say and their being bred in Warri is a testament to this. It beats one as to how three members of a footballing dynasty that made Nigerians proud for so long, with their involvements in charity and football development within and beyond the shores of this country could stoop so low to deliberately foul other players and be carded, all for money. But as a version of another proverb goes, you can take a fowl (no pun intended whatsoever) out of the bush to London, but you cannot take the bush out of it. The case is yet unresolved but there is the likelihood of each of them getting a substatntial time behind bars in the Queen’s territory. Serves them right.
Wande Coal and Don Jazzy
As hilarious as this episode was, it rifled a few truths home. One, never take intellectual property for granted. Two, if you’re twice bitten, then maybe you need a check-up. After Banga Lee exited the defunct MoHits label, one would’ve thought that the respected Don Jazzy would have learnt from that and tightened up shop. Wande took advantage of the power of 140 characters to get a lot of sympathy, but no one really knows what went down behind the scene and why everything died down, just like that.
May D and the duplex
After a lacklustre showing with his debut album, Chapter One and flashes of his talent here and there, this mister attempted to pull a fast one and ‘leaked’ to social media pictures of his new house in the upscale area of Magodo. We oohed and aahed as the groupies doubled and the haters tripled, but before the noise could die down, the good guys at The Net carried out an investigation and revealed the truth. The house had only been leased and one part of the twin duplex, at that. Humpty Dumpty had had a great fall. #PotOfBeans, this life is.
Beverly’s unsexy sex in BBA
Whether it was a strategy or plain dumbness, we will never know but Beverly Osu did what she did in the Big Brother House and after a rather unsexy bout of sex or a semblance of it with South Africa’s Angelo, she lost the support of a host of Nigerians. She is back in Nigeria with a C-list endorsement deal and probably back to being a video vixen.
A tale of Oduah and the $255m bulletprood cars
Minister of Aviation, Stella Oduah got a rather early Christmas present when a parastatal under her agency decided to buy her two bulletproof cars only – BMW, don’t forget – as a result of alleged assasination attempts on her life. She is still alive and well, so the cars which came for the combined sum of N255m seem to be serving their purpose. Allah, be praised!
Skelewu: One single, three videos
Director Sesan may have been long in the business of cinematography but truth be told, only one out of every five videos he directs is the shiznit. Just ask Aristokrat Records or better still check the below-average video for Burna Boy’s Abeg Abeg Abeg on Youtube. Or the second video for arguably the song of the year – Skelewu. After the first viral video by Davido and his crew, followed by the dance craze among Afrobeats fans everywhere, the director shot a video that we might as well not watch, even if the storyline or concept was right. Davido, being a spoilt kid and all, decided to save face by denying he ever approved release of the video. All these only helped blast the song to every corner of this country.
Rivers HoA’ mace fight
‘Aromate’ might have lost out to ‘baddo’, ‘frosh’, ‘smellos’ and others in the battle for the slang of the year but reminds us of the time lawmakers decided to literally fight in the premises of the Rivers State House of assembly. A mace was broken, cult songs were chanted, blood was shed and blames were flung between both warring parties, but no one was arrested and charged to court. Port Harcourt Na Wa.