A cheating boyfriend can cause tension in any relationship. Everyone hopes their partnership is built on trust, but what happens when that bond is broken and you suspect your boyfriend is cheating? Here are a few signs:
- Suspicious Computer Activity
These days, it’s easy to meet men in chat rooms, forums or on instant messenger. Have you seen a suspicious name in your IM window or an unknown chat site in your browser history? A little digging can go a long way. Be careful trying to be a super snooper, though, and give your man space. It’s just as easy to meet friends online as it is love interests. Your partner may just be reaching out for other gay people to talk to.
- Sudden Changes in Schedule
Some men may be spontaneous, but most of us keep a set schedule or standard routine in some form or another. This is especially true for day-to-day activities. Has your man’s routine suddenly changed without you knowing why? Did his working hours increase or does he have a new gym schedule? Things often change in our lives. In turn, we decide to try and impress our bosses by working overtime or resolve that it’s finally time to get into shape. But what raises suspicion is how these changes are communicated to you. Was the decision made without your input? Was there an attempt to include you? Are there any signs of progress?
- Emotional Distance
It’s normal for the intensity of your relationship to decrease after you’ve been together for a while. There may have been a time when you couldn’t bare to leave each others’ sight and now you both enjoy your time alone. This isn’t a sign that he is cheating, only that the relationship is starting to settle into a loving and comfortable phase. Nonetheless, take note of any emotional distancing. Has he stopped listening or laughing? Does he seem distant or spacey, almost as if he’s preoccupied? Take note if your partner is there physically, but not quite “there” mentally.
- Less Time Together
Just as the intensity of a relationship dwindles slightly over time, so may the time you spend together. But spending less time with each other shouldn’t be confused with spending no time at all. Don’t react too swiftly. Who knows, his company may be ready to close on a huge deal and they need him around the clock. Or there may be some other legitimate circumstance that demands his attention. Many huge time commitments like these don’t last for long periods of time and make sense. He may be working 14 hour days, but does he also leave home on weekends? Look for the unreasonable and unexplainable time commitments.
Mom always said follow your instincts and this is a time when that motherly voice can come in handy. If your gut tells you that something is wrong or that some other guy has captured your man’s attention, then go with it. But take caution with how far you follow these feelings. Ask yourself if they are legitimate concerns or if you yourself are lacking trust.
These tips aren’t meant to turn your trusting relationship into a game of hide and go seek and there are always exceptions. Trust first, but don’t ignore the warning signs. If there are just too many inconsistencies for comfort, then communicate them to your man directly. Don’t let him hear of your suspicions from a friend. Also, try not to be accusatory. Simply tell him how his behavior makes you feel. He may be dealing with other issues that have nothing to do with cheating on you with another man.
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.