by Real Buzz
One of the best ways to ruin a good date is to talk about your ex and how you cheated on him.
The first time it happened, you put it down to a personality clash. The second time it happened, you thought that he might have been intimidated by your high-powered job. Now, on your 85th date, you’re starting to get annoyed. Is it you? If you’re always the one waiting for a call that never comes, find out how to break free from these dating dead ends with these tips.
Why he didn’t call back: You cheated
One of the best ways to ruin a good date is to talk about your ex and how you cheated on him. In a study undertaken by researchers at Cornell University it was found that the trait both men and women rated highest was fidelity. In fact, being faithful was ranked as being more important than attraction, wealth and status.
What to do next time: If you cheated on your ex don’t bring this fact up on your first few dates. Obviously, you’ll have to tell them at some point, but holding out until he knows you better might be the best option if you want to see this guy again.
Why he didn’t call back: No chemistry
The worst dates are those that you get really excited about and then, mid-date, you realise that there’s no chemistry. You don’t gel, you awkwardly kick each other’s shins beneath the table and both of your eyes constantly wander around the room in an attempt to put an end to the boredom you both feel.
What to do next time: Sometimes chemistry can be created. You don’t need to go over-the-top though. Gently touching his arm or resting your leg upon his will be enough to give you both a little charge. Also, head somewhere busy. That way you will both have to lean in to talk to one another.
Why he didn’t call back: No sense of humour
Okay, so tripping over the leg of your chair and landing head first into that sweaty man’s lap wasn’t ideal, but how did you react? If you stormed off in a sulk he’ll think you’re a spoilt princess and if you go on and on about the incident for the rest of the evening he’ll think you’re a bore with confidence issues.
What to do next time: Even if you’re red-faced with shame, show off your sense of humour and laugh about anything that happens on a date. It will show him that you are relaxed, confident and mature. Remember, embarrassing moments can break the ice and build an instant bond.
Why he didn’t call back: You were miserable
People want to associate with others who make them feel good. If you sat through your date moaning about your boss, worrying about how this creamy sauce is going to go straight to your fat ass and how none of your friends like you, your date won’t hang around long enough to order desert. Dates should be fun and enjoyable for you both. Plus no one likes to feel like a therapist.
What to do next time: If you’re really low, it might be time to take yourself off of the dating market and dedicate some time to you. Try to work out what’s wrong and address any issues you can. Being miserable will result in a string of bad dates and that will only add to your unhappiness.
Why he didn’t call back: He didn’t find you attractive
It may sound shallow, but attraction plays a mammoth role in dating and you have to find the other person hot if you’re going to see them again. Researchers have found that those people rated as being most attractive are those who show they are reproductively healthy. The study found that women with small, short faces and chins had better reproductive health and so were considered more attractive.
What to do next time: If you want to make yourself seem more attractive you can’t really make your face or chin shorter. However, you can use make-up to contour your face to give the illusion of a small, short face.
Why he didn’t call back: You’re too different
Although the saying “opposites attract” seems true in the movies, it would seem that in real life people who are similar have more long-lasting relationships. A study undertaken at Iowa University found that those couples who had similar personalities were more likely to stay together longer.
What to do next time: You can’t change your personality to keep this guy interested. Instead, make sure he can see your true personality by handling your nerves and talking about something you’re really passionate about. Sometimes it can take a long time to discover who someone truly is when dating, but these tricks should quicken the process.
Why he didn’t call back: You had sex
It’s the age-old dilemma; do you sleep with people on the first few dates? Well, if you want to then why not? It’s the twenty-first century after all. Yet, studies have found that those couples that slept together within the first month of dating had worse relationships in the long-term. So, if you want a long-term relationship it might be best not to go back to his for coffee.
What to do next time: If you’re dying for a bit of action, but you think you and this guy have a future you could always opt for a long, passionate kiss… or three. To turn up the heat bring your hips together, run your hands up their back, through their hair and, if you’re feeling brave, give their behind a little squeeze.
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.