Adesegun Ayobami: My memorable flying experience (30 Days, 30 Voices)

by Adesegun Ayobami

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”The plane finally took off, I didn’t notice I had been sitting next to a beautiful girl, I was in awe of the splendour a man like me invented”

Dreams can be deceptive, though some say it’s a rhema to futuristic events. Sometimes they offer you a chance to dine in the world’s most expensive hotel, the pleasure of owning a yacht or being stabbed or beaten to a pulp by your step-mother.

I remember my first experience with a popular Nigerian airline. All my life, I had never travelled outside the border, never been close to an airport. Like every young boy’s dream, I wanted to go around the world, I wanted to see Paris and die.

The day finally came, I marched towards Murtala Mohammed Airport, it was a wonderful feeling. I couldn’t wait to see what a plane really looked like on the inside, was the seating arrangement a replica of a Lagos danfo or an Oshodi mass transit? God forbid.

The plane finally took off, I didn’t notice I had been sitting next to a beautiful girl, I was in awe of the splendour a man like me invented. She had the most beautiful set of eyes I have ever seen, dark and lovely. While I was still extolling her beauty, suddenly we heard a loud noise from the back, it was a baby’s cry.

Not only that, there was an argument between the baby’s parents on where it was written and enforced that only  mothers were to change diapers, or if there was any law stating it’s solely the woman’s responsibility to change diapers every four hours. The argument got intense, some men in the plane argued that because they were saddled with responsibilities like  providing for the family, paying the bills, mowing the lawn and fixing the cars , that certain duties shouldn’t be assigned to them. Before another man tried to give his reason, a woman interruptedly  cut him off, saying “Women, not slaves ” she said, “if you can’t change diapers, don’t have babies, if you aren’t ready to have a baby then sex is not for you”, she went on and on.

All the time this was going on, I never said anything, the bible says listen before you speak. After gathering enough information, I summoned David’s courage and a little gusto from Hitler. I told everyone to calm down, I started by telling them how a Godly marriage ought to be. I stressed on how responsibilities should be shared in the family, though some men are not motivated to do housekeeping and child care, but both parties are responsible for their babies.

I said ” It is important as a man not to think your responsibilities in the house are a monumental sacrifice”, “a solid marriage usually begins with willingness of the spouses to share domestic responsibilities, the more a woman perceives that her husband is engaged in routine family work tasks, the better the relationship for both partners”. Everywhere was calm. After I said all I wanted to, people cheered, they chanted ‘’you are a god”.

Immediately, I became the ‘Solomon’ of our time! The whole time I was speaking, it didn’t hit me- the beautiful girl I was sitting next to was already planning to ask me out on a date! Surprisingly, as the plane touched down, not only her but other girls on the flight were begging for my phone number. Some asked for my autograph and my house address! Heaven knows I was just about to give them all they asked. Just then, I woke up from my spasmodic dream.
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Adesegun Ayobami Realwan is an art. He’s a writer and a proper epileptic dancer. Excuse me, not only that! He forgot to include social media strategist, graphic editor and an upcoming gospel artiste. Jack of all trades, master of Naijanewsrave.com.

30 Days, 30 Voices series is an opportunity for young Nigerians from across the world to share their stories and experiences – creating a meeting point where our common humanity is explored.

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija

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