Airtime: TV parental guidance, BBA, and more

by Onoshe Nwabuikwu


What would kids watch?

It’s that time of the year-the summer holidays (or long vacation as we used to call them) are here again and the kids are going to be home for the next two months. As usual there would be all sorts of activities lined up to occupy the kids. Television (Cinema, etc) will invariably be a big part of holiday activities regardless of how packed the summer holiday programme is. The question used to be: Do you know what your children are watching? And are they watching programmes/films/shows appropriate for their ages? This means that you (parents) must know what’s appropriate.

Knowing what’s age appropriate has been made easier by satellite/cable Television since most shows have the ratings displayed. I always remind parents that those ratings are not graphic designs on the screen; they serve as guidance. Although you also have a right to decide what’s appropriate for your own kids. For instance, the fact that a programme is rated P13 does not mean I’m going to watch it with my almost 15 year old daughter.

Still, that’s the easier part. What about stations on terrestrial TV which don’t have ratings? Not only that, they are not always sensitive to when kids could be watching TV. Surely, it’s not so impossible for TV stations to actually have a holiday programme schedule? After all, summer holidays come every year.

At the end of the day, parents do have the most important task of ensuring kids watch clean TV. It isn’t that they have to turn policemen. Even that would not be enough to keep kids from all the sleaze on the airwaves. A good plan is carrying the children along. As clichéic and Nigerianese as that sounds, it simply means letting the kids know the risks involved in watching certain programmes, etc. And this should be an ongoing conversation which should also entrust some of the responsibility to do the right thing to the children.



Goldie: Now I can breathe easy

I haven’t had as much difficulty writing about a topic or person as I’ve had these past weeks trying to put Goldie in perspective. On one hand, I like Goldie. On the other, I’m like a mother torn between taking sides with her naughty child and a stranger. Anyhow, Goldie’s eviction from Big Brother Star Game last Sunday offered only one option: Speak now or forever…

I didn’t expect nor want Goldie evicted as I always try to support Nigerian housemates. But ‘Africa’ unpredictably sacrificed Goldie last Sunday.  Even though I’ not happy, I somehow feel a huge relief. With Goldie in Upville cooking and serving her ‘man’ Prezzo in a way some real life wives don’t, one couldn’t predict when one was going to be embarrassed as a Nigerian or feel humiliated as a woman. There was also no predicting when her tap of tears would burst open. And for the dumbest of reasons. Now she’s left, I don’t have any real attachments. Perhaps, if Prezzo is sent packing today, I’ll be able to watch without feeling anger on behalf of Nigerian women.

Goldie recorded many ridiculous firsts. She was the first head of house to wail and kneel to beg someone she had failed to replace. When Prezzo was nominated, she kept asking tearfully: ‘Who did this?’ And when she was nominated last week, she sought to know who she’d offended in the house. Like she didn’t nominate anyone or everyone wasn’t in to win the $300, 000. On Sunday, she recorded perhaps another first as the first person to cry through her last appearance on BBA stage with the most ridiculous being her collapse at finding out Ghanaian Keitta was one of the two people who’d nominated her. The same Keitta she had saved Prezzo and thrust right under the chopping block. Now she was calling on some non-existent West African brotherhood which hadn’t stopped her. Host IK Osakioduwa tried a great deal to help retain some of Goldie’s dignity. Otherwise he should’ve told her Prezzo had also nominated her in the past.

I’m having a running argument with a friend over Goldie’s mental composition, whether something in her background has reduced her self-esteem or if she’s simply dumb. Actually, the better question: Is Goldie for real? I’d expected at the very least, to be entertained. How many entertainers are going to get this good an opportunity to sell themselves to all of Africa almost on their own terms? Instead, Goldie was glued to the kitchen and Prezzo despite the fact that the guy had no regard for her at all. As I pointed out in a previous write up, Goldie appeared to have forgotten she wasn’t in the house simply as her ordinary self: Susan Olabimpe Harvey but as Goldie the star.

And if it was a game plan, it was very difficult to see it. Or was winning the $300, 000 enough to wash away the humiliation? So what happens when you don’t win? I know some people hypocritically think having a strategy is bad and take pride in just being themselves but anyone who plans to win $300, 000 without a strategy is a fool. In any case, even being yourself is some kind of strategy.

As for Goldie, despite the golden opportunity to grow her brand, she may have succeeded in de-branding herself.



Married but living single

Director: Tunde Olaoye

Starring: Joke Silva, Joseph Benjamin, Funke Akindele, Femi Brainard, Tina Mba, Kiki Comely

Kate (Funke Akindele) is the career driven wife of Mike Iheagwam (Joseph Benjamin) and the creative director of an advertising agency. She values job over family. Not even Mabel, their only child is enough incentive to make her more homely. Her boss Mrs Ibru (Joke Silva) does not help matters as she dangles goodies which the ambitious Kate finds difficult to resist. Matters come to a head when Kate cannot accompany her husband for medical treatment in India. That opens the door for Titi Haastrup who just happens to be a competitor in another ad agency.  And there’s Patrick (Kalejaiye Adeboye Paul-KAP), who beats his wife Lola. Eventually to death.

I like the basic story of Married But Living Single and what it’s trying to teach. Wife battery which is a worldwide problem is indefensible. And as far as career women are concerned, there are bound to be some who would do things to the extreme. But it’s not so much a battle between the career woman against the home maker. It is more about people relating with partners they’re well-suited. Not every woman can be career driven just as all women cannot be good home makers. But for every type of woman, there’s a man. Things continue to go wrong because some men want one type of woman but somehow end up with another.

Kiki Omeli does well as the man-grabbing Titi Haastrup. Joseph Benjamin is effortless as Mike in his role as the ‘single’ husband. Can’t say the same for KAP as Patrick. There is over acting sometimes bordering on tragic-comedy e.g. at the lying in state of Lola, it is not clear if Patrick is crying or trying not to laugh. I’ll resist the temptation to nitpick.

However, the producers of ‘Married But…’ need to be careful about product placement in future movies. There’s a scene where Mabel (about ten years old), talks confidently about the efficacy of two drugs she says have supposedly cured her of cough and malaria seemingly overnight. What’s bad is her holding up these drugs. Medicines are supposed to be kept out of the reach of children. How then does someone that young handle medicines to the point of promoting them in a film?



Oshiomhole extends olive branch to opposition’.

-Headline, Channels News track, Monday July 16, 10 pm-ish.

No, there’s nothing wrong grammatically with the above statement. It’s just that I couldn’t help but wonder if an ordinary olive branch could pacify the opposition in Edo State considering all that went down during the electioneering campaign. I’m thinking the comrade governor may need an olive tree (if not a few olive trees) to soothe the frayed nerves of the opposition.

And pray who is this opposition? The opposition is PDP which rightly or wrongly is built around one individual: Chief Anthony Anenih the erstwhile Mr Fix It. A colleague has said that the ‘old man deserves some respect’. But we must find a good way to give respect as a result of measurable and specific achievements in Edo State. Could we compute some amount of respect from Anenih’s wonderful work on the Benin-Ore expressway as minister of works? Or for saying there was no vacancy in Edo government house after four wasteful years of Lucky Igbinedion and ensuring we had another four luckless years?  Or for the transformation he’s brought to Uromi?

The governor has said he has no problems working with the opposition, giving those who are eligible/capable contracts, etc. The comrade governor needs to remember his own words about not ceding Edo State to anyone as their retirement benefit or God forbid inheritance for their children.

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