by Sabrina Alexis
It’s fine to have opinions and assert yourself as long as you can also see things from the other person’s perspective and don’t need to be right just for the sake of being right. A lot of women go into relationships seeing their guy as an adversary instead of a partner.
1. Bragging/being arrogant. Confidence is a major turn on. Arrogance is not. People are inherently repelled by braggers. I’m sure your efforts are coming from a desire to impress him, but too much showing off will actually repel him. Also, asserting your all-mightiness will make him feel like you’re the type of person who will always need to get her way and will never admit to being wrong and no guy wants to deal with that.
2. Being negative. Having a negative outlook isn’t just a man-repeller, it’s a people repeller. We all have our own crap to deal with on a daily basis and the last thing anyone needs is to get weighed down by someone else’s issues and negativity.
3. You don’t “get” him. Most men just want to be seen and understood. When a man feels this from a woman, he’ll want to be around her more. Conversely, when he senses she needs him, or is just trying to get something out of him in order to fulfill her own desire, he will instinctively pull away.
4. Being critical or putting him down. No one likes to be criticized but men are particularly sensitive in this area, the male ego is not something to be messed with. A man’s greatest need is to feel significant and to feel like a winner in the world. If you make him feel like a loser, he won’t want to be anywhere near you.
5. You’re fixated on labels or a relationship status. Men like to be in the moment and they don’t want to feel like they’re in a relationship pressure cooker where they have to meet deadlines and hit certain marks at the right time or the girl will get upset. Your focus should be on connecting with the other person and determining if this relationship is the right fit, not on getting the title for the sake of having it.
6. Being manipulative. A guy can sense when he’s begin manipulated and he’ll resent it. Don’t do things to intentionally provoke him and get a certain reaction or response from him, this is just immature. Healthy relationships are built on open, honest communication.
7. You’re unhappy. The sexiest woman to a guy is a happy woman. If you hate your life, your friends, yourself, he’ll be repelled. Guys like to keep their lives easy and drama-free.
8. You’re unpleasant to be around. If a guy feels like hanging out with you is something he’s going to have to “deal with” as opposed to something he enjoys, he won’t want to do it anymore. A lot of women make the mistake of turning their relationship into a dumping ground where they can unload all their issues. While it’s fine to vent to your guy on occasion, if you’re constantly going to him to complain about everything in your life then being with you will become a burden.
9. Being cruel/mean to others. In movies, girls like Regina George are capable of snagging the hottest guy around. In real life, there is nothing sexy about a mean girl, in fact, it’s incredibly off putting. Mean people are generally unhappy people (as they say, misery loves company). Being mean also reeks of insecurity and emotional issues, two things that no man wants to deal with.
10. You’re combative. It’s fine to have opinions and assert yourself as long as you can also see things from the other person’s perspective and don’t need to be right just for the sake of being right. A lot of women go into relationships seeing their guy as an adversary instead of a partner. The need to fight with him can have a variety of root causes and you’re best bet is to identify it and find out what you’re really fighting for.
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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.