Earlier today, the most popular Ponzi scheme in Nigeria – Mavrodi Mondial Moneybox (MMM), got shut down for a month and it has been near pandemonium everywhere.

If you are not in the scheme, you definitely have one, two, three or more friends with spare cash in the scheme. It’s the best time to be a good friend and ‘PH’ (provide help). But we know you’ll find it hard to compose truly empathizing messages so here we are -you guessed it – providing help:

1. “Don’t worry, it’s only your spare cash”

We know we warned against joining the scheme all together but MMM Guiders said the scheme was safe as long as people put it their spare cash only.

Just make sure not to add that the caveat to only one’s spare cash should have been the loudest warning signal. As a good friend, just remind them that it’s not all over – “It’s only your spare cash.”

2. “It is well”

Abi? What else. As Nigerians, what we do best is take heart. “It is well my friend. You’ll be alright”. “It is well my friend. It could have been worse”. Or “It is well. God is in control”. Besides, they say it is only because of heavy workload and the freeze will be removed by the new year. So yes, it is well.

3. “Don’t worry, we’ll get to the root of it”

Here, you know you’ll only be pre-empting the Federal Government’s response – “We’ll set up a panel to investigate…”

4. It’s all Buhari’s fault

No, not yours. It’s the government that made life so difficult for us that you had to invest your savings in a ponzi scheme. If you need corroborative points here, just look through Sergey Mavrodi’s open letter to Buhari.

5. And if you are totally lost for words, we assure you you cannot go wrong with El Nathan John’s tweet here:

https://twitter.com/elnathan_john/status/808597572990488576

Roqeebah

Creative mind. Enthusiast. Learner. Multipotentialite. And here, an assistant editor.