From the Magazine: When it comes to relationships, it pays to go the extra mile

 by Thetoolsman

 Would you forget it if you found a wristwatch in one of your shoes with a note attached while you’re dressing up for work in the morning?  

I love surprises. Well, the good ones. I tell this to everyone and anyone I’m remotely close to right after I tell them I also love surprising people. For me, it’s a two-way thing even though I know it doesn’t have to be that way for everyone. Someway, somehow, this automatically establishes me as the ‘romantic one’ in every relationship I’ve ever been in.

Did I say romantic? Yes I did. For all the men who started reading this and contemplated flipping the page immediately they read the line about being romantic, I’d advice you to sit back and relax; you might just learn something new here.

My love for surprises isn’t deeply rooted in my genes. As I was about starting this piece, I had flashbacks of some of the few conversations I had with my late grandfather about women.

 Keep ‘em excited

“Women are somehow like children, you have to keep them excited, else they’ll lose interest in you just like a child and a year old toy,” he once said. By the time my grandfather died, he had six legitimate wives and several ‘side chics’. It’s safe to say he had a way with women.

‘Excited’ as used in my grandfather’s statement can however be very broad but I’d just like to focus on one example, which I think surpasses others especially as we approach the holiday season.

When it comes to getting women excited, surprises are a sure and proven way of getting the job done. Did I say women? Truth is, I’m yet to find anyone who doesn’t get excited with pleasant surprises. So, if you’re male, female, single, married, engaged and you’re reading this …

Some might immediately respond and say, surprises are expensive, hard to put together and can totally end up being a waste of time especially if the person you’re surprising doesn’t end up liking it. Well, I quite agree. That’s why a lot of thought has to be put into it. Starting with the most important question, why? This is because this mostly determines just how much effort you’ll put into arranging the surprise.

 Raise the bar, not the bill

Before you proceed to the when, where, and how, I’d just like us to remember that surprises don’t necessarily have to go overboard in terms of expenses. Not in the general sense of things. Who wouldn’t want to be surprised with a brand new SUV as opposed to freshly cut roses? Well, introduce the element of proper timing and you might just be able to achieve close to the same effect with the roses and the SUV. (I said close).

Once the ‘why’ has been properly addressed, you’ll understand why something as simple as a nice box of chocolates delivered to your girlfriend on a random Wednesday afternoon or a cute hand written note left in the inner pocket of your boyfriend’s jacket can help you score some major points.

Sounds too basic? You can always raise the bar further. A surprise lunch date for her or if you’re the cooking type, why not drop something off for him at work but you have to be careful not to make this a habit so it doesn’t come off as stalking. And if you still want to take things further, try to get her a CD signed by one of her favourite artistes or better still, get the artiste to make a brief appearance at a special dinner. The same thing applies for us guys. 

Sweat the small stuff

For me, I’ve come to realise that it’s even the smaller things, the ones that obviously took a lot of thought, that are never forgotten. Would you forget it if you found a wristwatch in one of your shoes with a note attached while you’re dressing up for work in the morning?

Surprises don’t necessarily have to be for people you’re in relationships with because you never know who’s watching and also, people will always share stories of extremely pleasant surprises with others. A shared story might trigger a crush somewhere some how, you just never know.

A lot of us in this part of the world are guilty of being a little too boring when it comes to such things. The guys give such excuses as not wanting to come off as being too romantic for fear of losing some of their ‘masculinity’ while the women generally assume men are not worth the trouble. As we approach the holiday season, I’d like to challenge us. Make it a point to constantly put smiles on the faces of others through simple, well thought out surprises. Cheers. Y! 

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published.

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail