‘Married flirts’: 7 types of men you should get rid of immediately

by Ms SmartyPants

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He could be your now-married ex. He could be one of your relative/friend’s husbands. Or he just could be a random married man who’s hitting on you like there’s no tomorrow…Even if you have the hots for him, rather than blindly getting involved, try to analyse the real reasons behind your feelings.

1. Loser ex: You may have moved on but he clearly hasn’t. He still walks around carrying a torch for you. Worse still, if he’s going all out with incessant phone calls, text messages and FB posts, be sure he’s capable of some serious stalking — virtual or otherwise.
Fix it: Cut off all contact till you think he’s completely over you, and capable of start afresh as friends. This could take months/years depending on your personalities and relationship history.

2. Jealous best friend: A pure platonic friendship between two friends of the opposite sex (in case of heterosexuals, that is) is rare. Does he seem too possessive of you, a tad too “concerned” about whom you’re going out with, where you’re going and what you’re wearing? If so, you’ve got a “best” friend who may have his interests in mind… more than yours.

Fix it: Talk to him. Find out the reasons for his obsessive streak. Chances are, his behaviour is merely influenced by the subconscious macho instinct to protect the weaker sex. And if really thinks his actions and attitude are perfectly normal, you need some distance from your best bud.

3. Clingy FWB: So, you’ve actually managed an emotionally non-complicated relationship with a Friend With Benefits?  Congratulations! But if he’s begun to show signs of emotional attachment, you’ve got a problem on hand.

Fix it: Nothing like an honest discussion to clear the air. Ask him bang on if he wants something more than just good, meaningless sex with a friend. If it’s a yes for him and a no for you (or vice-versa), you need to stop. And/or get a new FWB if that’s what rocks your world.

4. Childhood sweetheart… no more: This depends on your current relationship status. Whether you’re freshly single or with the boyfriend from hell, you definitely don’t need a mushy romantic reminder from your past… Especially if that person is now in a serious relationship with someone else.

Fix it: If at all you think you can keep a clear head around him or can’t avoid a situation where you must meet, see to it that you two aren’t alone. Be it with his better half, your worse half or a third person altogether, remember, three’s company too.

5. Married flirt: He could be your now-married ex. He could be one of your relative/friend’s husbands. Or he just could be a random married man who’s hitting on you like there’s no tomorrow.

Fix it: Make it clear that NOTHING is going to happen between the two of you, ever. If he’s persistent, consider talking about it to your gal pal/family member in question, but that could put multiple relationships in jeopardy. She may even call your bluff outright. If nothing works, cut contact from the people concerned. Even if you have the hots for him, rather than blindly getting involved, try to analyse the real reasons behind your feelings.

6. Lecherous boss: Married or not, there are some men who think they’ve got the right to mess round with you just because they’re in a senior position at work. It may not be sexual harassment outright, but could start with “small” gestures that make you extremely uncomfortable.

Fix it: Please discourage such behaviour from the very beginning. Keep things professional from your end (your choice of outfits, body language, etc.) and voice your displeasure at being treated like a sexual object. If you wait too long, you might end up (considering) quitting your job, and he’ll find new victims quite easily.

7. Mr One-Sided-Love: You don’t want to spend a sizable amount of your waking hours with someone who loves you and may have even told you about it. Or someone you are/were crazy about.

Fix it: Spending time together will remind you of what was and make you fantasise about what could have been. However, what you need is to live in the present. You both need to face things as they are and move on to more stable relationships which could, in turn, solidify your friendship in the future.

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Read this article in iDiva

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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