Opinion: Friends, how many of us have them?

by Folabi Williams



Those you call friends and they look out for you. They are like, have you tried this? have you seen this? The go out of their way for you when you need help.

There are different breeds of human beings on this planet earth. I have been opportuned to meet quite a few in my over four decades of existence. Now, this is not extolling, nor targeting any particular individual or individuals but an attempt within the ambience of my experiential interaction to compartmentalize and sort of document certain behavioral characteristics that I have come across.

These individuals in perspective are/were colleagues, friends or relations. Now I like to say here again that the impact may be north or south bound (that’s an expression I recently picked up from a friend of mine) depending on how the person in the question received it and the extent it is allowed. I once heard this from a famous preacher some years back; If some throws you into a pit and attempts to cover you up, each time he/she throws dirt at you, just shake it off and step on it. In no time you will be out of the ditch!

Now, to those friends, there are those you don’t see in months, years and when you call or meet, it is like you haven’t missed out on anything. You pick up instantly and you talk just about everything and anything heartily and cheerfully and then the break again, but no hard or ill feelings!

Those you call friends and you really don’t want to talk to them but somehow, you just have to. So you are on red alert each time you engage them in any form. You are so careful you almost need a lawyer by your side to validate what you say or need to say. The reason is simple, this friend or friends cares less about you, not one bit, he/she is just collecting stuffs about you and will sooner use them against you. It is like collecting points to spend at the supermarket. You might say why care about such people, after all, when people talk about you there is a reason. Yes, that is correct, right or wrong reasons, it can be either. Painful point though is that you really didn’t think this the information they unwittingly gathered about you will be used to their advantage.

Those you call friends and they compete with you, ever step you take is a challenge for them. Healthy competition is fine mind you. But these category of friends just want to keep you down there. When they see opportunity that may be beneficial to you even when they can’t use it in a million years, but because it may take you above them or bring you at par, they refuse to hand it to you. They are all about themselves and even go out of their way to check on your progress once in a while, just to be sure you haven’t caught up. At times they offer to help you out on stuff and deliberately sabotage it or stall it. They even advise you wrongly just to ensure you arrive later than expected at the finish line. These friends rub it in at every opportunity they get, they are the “I told you so” people.

Those you call friends and they look out for you. They are like, have you tried this? Have you seen this? They go out of their way for you when you need help. Your secret is safe with them and you can share knowing they won’t tell. They will stand for you even when you are wrong and chide you later. They won’t talk bad about you even for the glory of it. If they ever have to call you to order, just know you have truly reached your limit and something needs to be done quickly. Telling you the truth has never been a difficult thing for them and being yourself with them is like second nature. These category of friends don’t compete with you. They are like a brother/sister, no, sometimes better! They are very few of them around and not many of us have them.



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

One comment

  1. This is really a good write-up, saying it the way it is……I like! and I learnt something, amazingly hmmmmm……Thanks Afolabi.

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