Opinion: How to keep your boyfriend HOOKED!

by Omena Daniels

Okay so what does a bloke really expect from you? It may seem like there’s only one answer to that question – “more sex” – but men are actually a bit more complicated than that, really…no really. Research has proved that a plethora of things turn up the heat for a bloke when it comes to women they’re dating.

Here are a few, five of almost a dozen my team has uncovered. Take them to heart, they are profound in their simplicity; nothing new, but it will help you master your relationship environment.


You may not look like a supermodel or have the body of a porn star *yeah, he has fantasies too*. You may not be the smartest, prettiest, or sexiest woman you know. But damn it, you’re not half-bad, even then he chose you.


1. Take care of you!

Yes, blokes like breasts and butts *I actually said that out loud*. And yes, there’s only so much you can (or should) do about those areas. You are who you are, physically and mentally, and you shouldn’t change yourself dramatically for anyone. *I have my serious face on, read on quickly, its wearing me out*

What we’re talking about here are little things that can make a big difference in your appearance. Always being dressed in nice, decent clothes, having fresh breath, having clean hair but not over-styled – *blokes like ‘simple’ when it comes to hair long and strait always works*, shaving your armpits and legs regularly, and so forth. *I didn’t have to tell you that, did I?*

It doesn’t mean you have to be a size 2 and go to the gym every day. It just means taking care of the body you have and going out of your way to be fresh and clean when you see him.

2. Let him know he’s #1 with you.

While blokes don’t like women who are subservient and docile *wink, speaking generally of course*, they do like to know that they’re important to you. What most women do not realize is that men are as insecure about relationships as women are, if not more.

He probably won’t want to talk about the relationship and define it and label it, but he does want to know where he stands with you. *Talk about double standards…lol*

Let him know by leaving cute love notes for him or by calling him at the office to say hello. He wants to know that while you have your own life to lead, you’re taking time to think about him, too. *Only do these after he has expressed his feelings for you, he’ll call it stalking if you do it before*

It will also make him more likely to make the same kind of sweet gestures for you in return, once you’ve opened the door for such things. *Don’t wait for him to reciprocate, it might take a while*

3. Be confident.

You may not look like a supermodel or have the body of a porn star *yeah, he has fantasies too*. You may not be the smartest, prettiest, or sexiest woman you know. But damn it, you’re not half-bad, even then he chose you.

Every bloke loves a woman who’s confident. Not cocky or arrogant or snotty, but confident. Smile when you enter a room. Don’t look nervous in new surroundings. Act like you’re completely happy with your body and personality, even if you’re not. Blokes notice the difference.

When you present ideas to your partner, state them with confidence. Don’t always defer to, “Whatever you want to do is fine” when discussing plans together. Give your opinions! When he asks what you’d like to do this weekend, give a suggestion. *Be considerate though, don’t just break the bank*

Often, women are afraid to be too bold in their opinions, mistakenly believing blokes want their ladies to be quiet and humble, we do but subservient is another thing altogether. What blokes actually say they want in polls and studies is a woman who will respectfully speak her mind and without being confrontational, be a true PARTNER in the relationship.

4. Be independent.

Speaking of being a true ‘partner’, here’s another tip that real blokes find incredibly attractive: Have a life. It’s disconcerting to meet someone and get the impression she didn’t exist before you came into her life, but that’s what it feels like for some guys.

They meet women who don’t go out, don’t socialize much, don’t do much of anything outside of work. That’s not a partner, that’s a Barbie doll!

By the same token, if you already do have a life, don’t shut it down when a man comes into your world. Continue to hang out with your friends, dedicate energy to your job, and all the other things you used to do. Don’t be so career-oriented that you don’t have ANY time to be with your partner, but don’t completely turn everything else off for him, either. *Again, another thin line hat you need wisdom to stay on the right side of*

Real blokes like women with backbone. If you occasionally can’t be with him because of other obligations, it will make the times you CAN be with him seem all the sweeter. If you’re at his beck and call 24 hours a day, well, where’s the fun in that?

5. Have a sense of humor.

Don’t be afraid to crack a joke. Our society places great importance on funny men, but rarely on funny women, and so women often get the subconscious message that jokes are for blokes to tell. But it’s just not true. Guys love it when women can make jokes as well as they can. Avoid being dirty or using profanity – blokes appreciate ladylike behaviour especially with company present – but if he makes a one-liner about the bad service in the restaurant, don’t hesitate to offer one of your own, too. Partners love to be able to tease each other playfully.

What if you’re just not that funny a person? *Some of us are more gifted with garb than the others* but you can still have a sense of humour by appreciating other people’s jokes. If he says something funny, or if something funny happens nearby, don’t be afraid to laugh.

Again, the old-fashioned ideas of women laughing demurely and daintily, covering their mouths with their hands, are outdated; it makes you look timid. If it’s funny, LAUGH. Don’t be shy, don’t be coy; Just laugh. Learn to laugh openly, but still look pretty doing it. Laughter is one of the great tools in any relationship. It’s one of the greatest sounds in the world. Let him hear it from you.

No one, even yours sincerely, has yet worked out ALL the secrets of how to make a bloke truly happy. But these tips are a start; some simple ways you can be your best self and make him see what a great partner you can be.

Nuff said.


Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.


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