The lesson I want Jonathan to learn – and more, in today’s news roundup with Cheta Nwanze

by Cheta Nwanze

Goodluck-Jonathan looking tired

When 103 women tell you that N1million is not their problem, and that they want the full entitlements of their dead husbands, better find the money.

Chris Huhne was the UK’s Minister of State for Energy as recently as 2012. Okay, they call them “Secretary” out there, but you know what I’m talking about. He was released from prison yesterday. His crime? His car was caught practising for the Monaco Grand Prix by a speed camera, and well, his wife at the time, Vicky, told the police that she was the person preparing to overturn Michael Schumacher. The reason she did this was that had he admitted to over-speeding (third time), his right to drive would have been taken away, so she took the fall, until he left her for another woman. After the divorce, Vicky Pryce as she was now known, admitted to the Law what had transpired a few years before. TO make a foolish story short, Huhne, and Pryce ended up in prison for perverting the course of justice. Both were released yesterday.

The moral of the above story (aside from the obvious one that were Huhne a Nigerian Minister he’d have been above the law unless he offended some #OgaAtTheTop), is that hell hath no fury as a vexed female of our species, and she would do anything, including spending some time chilling in the cooler, in order to make her point. That lesson is what I would want the following individuals to learn with immediate alacrity: President Goodluck Jonathan, Governor Tanko Al-Makura and Inspector General of Police Mohammed Abubakar. When 103 women tell you that N1million is not their problem, and that they want the full entitlements of their dead husbands, better find the money. For the records, I am in full support of the widows.

Quote of the day

“It is a wrong thing even to talk about war in election. Election should be free. People elect who they want.” PDP bigwig, Bamanga Tukur turns into a verifiable voice of reason. The more cynical among us would rather wait and hear what he would have to say if such a time ever comes that the PDP loses an election.

Bits and bobs

Delta state sets us on a very slippery slope as Fulani herdsmen, who by some chance also happen to be Nigerian citizens, are told that they will no longer be welcome in the state. Reminds me of the stupidity of Abia sacking “non-indigenes” two years ago. While I throw a section of our Constitution that reads, “Every citizen of Nigeria is entitled to move freely throughout Nigeria and to reside in any part thereof, and no citizen of Nigeria shall be expelled from Nigeria or refused entry thereby or exit therefrom”, I will pack my bags and leave them close to my door in wait for the day Lagos catches the bug and decides to expel all Igbo people.

The PDP’s parrot has informed the CPC and ACN that he is compiling a list of noise-makers awaiting when teacher will return with a cane.

In Abia, Joshua Umunna died in his sleep. Family members suspect juju, and are looking for the 103 year-old’s killer(s).

Our Reps, who to paraphrase a certain Dokubo chap, do not have the ability to enforce their own orders, have ordered the NNPC to cough up N236 billions which the opaque behemoth belched on a while ago.

Finally, in response to yesterday’s newsletter, the NGF has rejected the declaration of emergency rule in those parts of the north of our country in which the tinder box has been well and truly lit. “We have no other country to call home and it is important that we understand the danger and futility of destroying our land in the pursuit of a selfish agenda,” harrumphed NGF etibo, Rotimi Amaechi, driving straight to the heart of the matter. Allocations will stop to such governors whose states are under emergency rile. The govs evidently, are looking out for one another.

Right of Reply

Kalu Aja lends his support to the NGF,

The story is not that the police were ambushed but that the cult did it without fear of reprisal.

For now its an internal security matter,  the army should step in.



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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