Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here are the ones we saw today:
— Bizzle Osikoya (@bizzleosikoya) April 9, 2019
Take your own advice, Bizzle.
This is a dreadful story! The contractors won’t hire women who menstruate, so the women are getting hysterectomies just so they can work. In addition, there is repeated sexual exploitation of women by contractors and the men. My God! https://t.co/doljVz8QLJ
— The Law (@AdakuUfere) April 9, 2019
Men are what? SCUM.
What does it mean when you like smelling your lovers armpits
— ashawo (@stephylicious_) April 9, 2019
Mental disorder, my sister.
— RUGGEDMAN (@RuggedyBaba) April 9, 2019
Rugged Man for President, tuale!!!
How about you stop worrying about how people speak to you and focus on how YOU speak to them?
— Chude Jideonwo (@Chude) April 9, 2019
Louder please, louder.
There are some English words it appyas only Nigerians either use at all or use in certain ways:
Ultramodern (and especially in twinship with its sibling: state-of-the-art).
Fingers (as a verb in a news headline).
Severally (as a variant of ‘several’)
— tolu ogunlesi (@toluogunlesi) April 9, 2019
What is ‘Appyas’? And you call yourself a gradute.
On twitter you’d sometimes forget cannabis is illegal in Nigeria.
— Ugö 🦅🐏 (@Sir_Fin) April 9, 2019
Quest to download all seasons of GOT begins tonight
— Mr. Jack Robinson (@jackdre02) April 9, 2019
You will kill yourself.