Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

 

1 Babasola Kuti

If you think Nigerians have forgotten that President Buhari has been away from the country for over a month now, you’ve got another think coming.

Mr Kuti quips:

This year alone, Buhari has spent 98 taxpayers days in London. Yet the @NGRPresident does not think we deserve to know his health status. pic.twitter.com/JBnDaFQD3Q

— Babasola Kuti (@SKSolaKuti) June 24, 2017

Elizabeth responds:

It was supposed to be, "Vote for me and I'll build world-class hospitals." Not "Vote for me so you'll cover my presidential medical bills."

— elizabeth ughoro (@haleAndcrazy) June 24, 2017

2. Mr Aye Dee

Speaking of our missing president, a medical practitioner who spoke with Mr Aye Dee raised some interesting points. See below:

I had a lengthy conversation with a leading DC based medical practitioner earlier this week, and somehow the discussion #BuhariMIA 1/

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) June 24, 2017

1 intensive care unit nurse
1 respiratory therapist
1 Nursing assistant for cleaning
If 12 hour shifts, that's 8 people #BuhariMIA 5/

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) June 24, 2017

If 8 hour shifts, that's 12 people per day, daily. @Mbuhari also needs real time access to a Chemistry and Haematology lab. #BuhariMIA 6/

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) June 24, 2017

Depending on his condition, following also required to be on call 24/7:
1) Specialist Consultant for his specific condition #BuhariMIA 7/

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) June 24, 2017

a) Neurologist
b) Infectious Disease Specialist
c) Renal Specialist #BuhariMIA 8/

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) June 24, 2017

From a professional perspective, she said it's impossible for a team of 12+ professionals per day to work for over a month #BuhariMIA 9/

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) June 24, 2017

Consequently, she said in her professional medical opinion his absence indicates one of 3 things:#BuhariMIA 11/

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) June 24, 2017

1) @Mbuhari is alive & well but has been detained at a remote location & cut off from all access ala #MKOAbiola . #BuhariMIA 12/

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) June 24, 2017

#2 He is sick but not in the UK or a Western Nation, but at a specialist hospital in a nation which represses information #BuhariMIA 13/

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) June 24, 2017

#3 He is no more, and hence no need for support staff or personnel other than those present when he transitioned. #BuhariMIA 14/

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) June 24, 2017

Her concluding summation being that Nigeria's making a mockery of itself by keeping news of what's going on with him secret. #BuhariMIA 15/E

— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) June 24, 2017

Reactions:

On this one I think it's better she sticks to her medical practice. ???

— John Ekpenyong (@ekpenyong_john) June 24, 2017

1. He's dead.

2. In coma and just on life support.

3. ????

— Nosakhare Aguebor (@NosaAguebor) June 24, 2017

exactly! The silence is deafening and ominous. Something is not right #WhereIsBuhari

— Olamide (@lamideh) June 24, 2017

Its a possibility Oga is dead

— Jaydoniz (@chikezie_jay) June 24, 2017

And the devil appears!

3. President Buhari

Apparently, president Buhari is neither in a coma nor dead. He just issued a statement to Muslim faithfuls celebrating sallah…

I mean, we’ll just have to take Mr Garba Shehu’s word for it. See below:

President @MBuhari sends 2017 Eid-El-Fitr Greetings to Nigerian Muslims and Christians https://t.co/oYAbC6IEd3 #EidAlFitr #EidMubarak pic.twitter.com/paJPCcaAwE

— Garba Shehu (@GarShehu) June 24, 2017

"I am immensely grateful to God for his mercy in guiding us successfully to conclude another #Ramadan fast." -President @MBuhari

— Garba Shehu (@GarShehu) June 24, 2017

"My greetings to all Nigerian Muslims and our brother Christians on the occasion of #Eid-el-Fitr." -President @MBuhari

— Garba Shehu (@GarShehu) June 24, 2017

"May the lessons of #Ramadan namely; piety, self-denial, prayers and generosity to the poor and needy be with us for all time." -PMB

— Garba Shehu (@GarShehu) June 24, 2017

"I, again, appeal to all Nigerians to avoid reckless statements or actions against our fellow countrymen." -President @MBuhari

— Garba Shehu (@GarShehu) June 24, 2017

"We should all resolve to live in peace & unity in our great country, which is the envy of many less endowed nations." -President @MBuhari

— Garba Shehu (@GarShehu) June 24, 2017

Reactions:

I have @MBuhari in my handle never saw his tweet Garba leave us Abeg we are tired of this lies.

— EE Ekanem (@spakomzy) June 24, 2017

https://twitter.com/SulaimanuShehu/status/878705338324840448

All these doubting Thomases.

 

4. Trumpcare

While our president is trying to fix his health, Americans want Trump to quit trying to fix their perfectly alright healthcare bill- Obamacare- by replacing it with Trumpcare.

The grumblings are nasty:

Trumpcare would reduce the price of insurance the same way removing the doors and the engine would reduce the price of a car

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) June 24, 2017

Wow.

5. Henry Okelue

Henry, Juliet and Kayode are preoccupied with political matters which have direct impact on the health of this country. Join the conversation:

Don't get me wrong, I don't care if they burn their Nigerian passport or not. It is their right. I am only trying to be a statesman? https://t.co/h4mFA35774

— HENRY Okelue (@4eyedmonk) June 24, 2017

For me, I respecr their right to self-determination, simply guiding them to use civil, non-hate filled approach. A peaceful/legal referendum

— Juliet 'Kego (@julietkego) June 24, 2017

6. King Trapa

Perhaps all everybody needs- Biafra, Arewa and every Nigerian- right now to get out of these dastardly feels is MONEY!!!

7. Kiks

Public Service Announcement, guys:

Please help me spread this message. My uber driver has absconded with my car. A black 2009 Toyota camry with plate number NCH 28BF pic.twitter.com/xT8YphSFQO

— Kikilicious (@kiadum_) June 24, 2017