Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1 Abubakar Suleiman

Following Oby Ezekwesili’s defence of the Federal Government’s decision to task the World Bank to focus its relief efforts on the North East, Abubakar leaves some advice for the following people:

those praising @obyezeks Re-worldBank should also hail her when she speaks truth to power! We can’t pick and choose, conscience is constant

— Abubakar Suleiman – previously blue ticked (@suleimana) October 14, 2017

2. Japhet

Nigerians on Political Twitter refuse to let Senator Ben Bruce’s gaffes slide.  The commonsense Senator appears to possess the tendency to recant on his previous statements- and not for the better.

Guess that’s why Japhet called him out on this one.

Burn.

 

3. Tolu Ogunlesi

It’s Hurricane season ‘in the abroad’, and Tolu Ogunlesi, one of Buhari’s media aides pokes some fun at these hurricane names.

God knows if Nigerians had to name hurricanes you will hear names like
– Hurricane Back 2 Sender.
– Hurricane No Weapon Fashioned

— tolu ogunlesi (@toluogunlesi) October 14, 2017

– Hurricane God Punish You
– Hurricane Locate My Enemies https://t.co/4s5aocWfVP

— tolu ogunlesi (@toluogunlesi) October 14, 2017

https://twitter.com/Franklinekene/status/919256169214038021

As you well know, there’s always that one person – or ten- who will always seize the opportunity to strike at Tolu’s less than beloved boss.

We already have Hurricane Sai Baba. pic.twitter.com/6Ht6yo0BMD

— NwaAmaikpe (@NwaAmaikpe) October 14, 2017

LOOOOOL!!!!
You've got jokes in 2017?
After installing hurricane @MBuhari in @AsoRock?
You've got jokes?

— The Redline (@redline_the) October 14, 2017

We’re just here lollling.

4. President Buhari

Speaking of “Hurricane Sai Buhari” (Nigerians, sha), he rolled on over into China by way of Twitter to congratulate his people on their victory.

On behalf of the Govt & people of Nigeria, I congratulate the Communist Party of China on the occasion of their 19th National Congress.

— Muhammadu Buhari (@MBuhari) October 14, 2017

It is my firm belief that the CPC's 19th National Congress will usher in a new period of great accomplishment for the Party and for China.

— Muhammadu Buhari (@MBuhari) October 14, 2017

Let me also use this opportunity to express my satisfaction with the mutually beneficial cooperation between Nigeria and China.

— Muhammadu Buhari (@MBuhari) October 14, 2017

We did say there are always critics laying wait in the bushes, right? Well, here goes:

A democratic elected leader is congratulating a communist controlled China. We have a long way to go indeed.

— Adamu Garba II (@adamugarba) October 14, 2017

I guess Buhari should have punched him in the face for being a communist!

— Yⓤⓢⓤⓕ ( ﻳﻮﺳﻒ) (@yusufabdool) October 14, 2017

No punches. But to foreign Intl Observers/Investors, the significance of such a message is injurious to our planned institutional building.

— Adamu Garba II (@adamugarba) October 14, 2017

The last time I checked, America the so-called defender of democracy & the universe is the biggest business partner of communist China! No?

— Yⓤⓢⓤⓕ ( ﻳﻮﺳﻒ) (@yusufabdool) October 14, 2017

Trading partner yes, but always demanding transparency in their system. Liberalizing their market away from communist control. 1/2

— Adamu Garba II (@adamugarba) October 14, 2017

Did you see the word "mutual" in his post

— Ebi (@DominicIghekpe) October 14, 2017

Words can be used. In dealing with China, we need a careful statecraft policies, else we'll all be sold out to China like mongolia & Zambia

— Adamu Garba II (@adamugarba) October 14, 2017

Sir, with due respect, we patriotic Nigerian are waiting to hear your response regarding recent NNPC scandal. Sir, please act now.

— Mukhtar Nura (@mbichi1) October 14, 2017

Ehen. Now, you’re talking.

5. Aisha Yesufu

For Aisha Yesufu, this one is too much savage. She even got it to rhyme with “For God so loved the world”.

For PMB so loved the North East he asked WB to focus on the North yet did nothing to Babachir that stole from the most vulnerable of the NE?

— Aisha Yesufu (@AishaYesufu) October 14, 2017

6. The Thermocool rapist.

This video leaves us enraged and speechless.

WATCH:

I’m so angry RN. Why is nobody beating him ?? pic.twitter.com/gAd1iOdrPT

— My Hoe Story (@MyHoeStory) October 14, 2017

Isn’t this awesome?

My friend, who has been in a coma for 3 months and presumed dead, texted me this pic.twitter.com/NHAJG6w9qp

— ??? (@Iinenups) October 13, 2017

7. Ola

Lesson 1 on How To Hurt A Nigerian.

The best way to hurt a Nigerian is to serve food to everyone sitting around him and skip him ???

— Ola Of Lagos (@ItsHimOla) October 14, 2017

Reactions:

https://twitter.com/ak97keys/status/919152419497566209

"Every" party?? Bro, appease your village people

— Theladylawyer (@sumfem123) October 14, 2017

Choi.