11 ways to get him to ‘put a ring on it’

black-marriage

by Kathryne Macpherson

Remember, guys do not want to be pushed into doing something serious because they want things to unfold in their preferred time. It makes them feel more in control of things.

Okay so you’ve been dating him for ages and you feel he is the man you would like to spend your whole life with. The problem is, he does not seem to know that.

He does not talk about spending your lives together, the number of kids you will have or where you want to say your vows.

This is not because he does not feel the same way, but because he just needs a little nudge from you.

If you want your guy to pop that question you have been dying to hear, try these fail-proof tips on how to get him to propose. You can also watch this video to understand what is going on behind a man’s mind.

1. Check If He Believes In Marriage

Check if your guy believes in the word marriage during your getting-to-know stage. You can ask him this directly and openly. You need to know if he is open to the idea of settling down one day with anyone.

One friend of mine got the guy she was just dating for a few weeks to commit to her seriously by telling him directly that she was not looking for a fling or fun but she wants to have a relationship that would eventually lead to marriage. She found out that he wanted the same thing.

2. Don’t Drag Him to Weddings

Most guys dread going to weddings with their girlfriends for fear of being asked ten thousand times when he will settle down. It is not because he does not want to marry her but because he wants to dwell on these matters when he is emotionally and financially ready.

Do not drag your man to wedding ceremonies weekly as this will just pressure him. It will also give him a hint that you already want to settle down. Remember, guys do not want to be pushed into doing something serious because they want things to unfold in their preferred time. It makes them feel more in control of things.

3. Don’t Scare Him Away

Do not scare your man away by telling him that should you settle down, you will resign from work and just serve him and your kids. He may think you just need someone to feed you and finance your needs. Talk about that issue when you have finally settled down.

4. Do Things Together

Have fun with your guy by doing enjoyable activities together. You can travel to exotic places, try out different food or play a new sport.

Aside from these adventures, do ordinary things together like performing household chores, jogging in the morning or just do some fun things at home like cooking spaghetti and eating it while watching a film. Turn ordinary days into fun with your boyfriend and this will make him see what a great pair you are.

5. Remain a Mystery

Even if you have spent years together, remain a mystery to your boyfriend so that you will be exciting in his eyes. You can do this by having your own life with your own friends, a job and hobbies. Discuss issues with him and have good opinions on these issues.

This will keep him interested in you. If you become predictable, he would soon see you as a bore. Make him want to discover new things about you always. It would make him realize that you would make an interesting and fun lifetime partner.

6. Encourage Him

Think of your man as someone proud and strong. Men want to feel that they are seen as men and not the sensitive creature that they really are inside. Men do not want to be emasculated and that is just how they are. He wants to hear encouragement from you and does not want to be told that he is not complete without you in his life. Let him see that for himself and not you telling him.

7. Learn How to Keep Yourself Attractive

Maintain a good body figure and be sexy always. This will make him desire you continuously. In addition, be wild and adventurous in bed. Let him show how much he loves you physically because that is how men prefer to express their feelings – through sex. Make him satisfied with you when you are in bed. You can watch movies with love scenes so as to make you both experiment with different positions and styles.

8. Learn How to Cook

Know how to cook because though it sounds cliché, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Men love food aside from sex. If you can cook better than his mom, you will have him hooked, girl. Cooking good food for him means you are taking good care of him.

9. Be Willing to Break Up If Nothing Works

Men do not know what they have until they lose them. That happens in movies and in real life. Another friend of mine got her guy to propose to her when she broke up with him before and started seeing other people.

She told him that he was clearly not ready for a more serious relationship with her and that maybe someone else will come along to make him want to commit to her. She also said she will look for that person who wants to spend his lifetime with her. After a week, he swept her back to her feet and begged her to marry him.

Men are just like that. They tend to take partners for granted and will realize their worth when they are gone. Giving a little pressure and an ultimatum can work.

10. Make Sure He Is The Guy You Want to Marry

The most important thing is you actually want to marry this guy. I mean, how you could get someone to propose to you if you yourself are unsure of his place in your life. You need to ask every fiber of your body if this is the guy you want to spend forever with, fight every now and then with, have children with and grow old with.

Do not pressure yourselves into marriage just because you have your biological clock in mind. Have some respect for yourself and your boyfriend shall respect you too. If he sees you as a person who would marry anyone because of society’s pressures, he will definitely not want to commit to you with that sort of thinking.

11. Be a Good Girlfriend

Lastly, to get your guy to propose to you, be kind, sincere, caring and thoughtful towards him. He will see you as the kind of partner worth sacrificing singlehood for.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.


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Comments

  • You people always come up with these damn principles for women. If you like, become a saint, clean, sweep, and mop your boyfriend’s head, a man will propose to whoever he wants when he wants to.

    All these tips are pointless and make women seem weak and desperate. Instead of creating guidelines for women to follow in order to please men, (because men have automatically become mini gods)- how about you create “rules” to help these “mini gods” evolve into rational and mature human beings. Don’t you think that’s necessary?

    jeze November 24, 2012 7:06 pm
    • As in!!!! I tire

      Jo! November 24, 2012 9:18 pm
    • tell them. if a man wants to marry a lady, let him put a ring on it but if not there shldnt be rule book to it.

      gals dnt go cooking and doing stuff for a man. do it wen u re married simple.

      nate November 26, 2012 7:04 pm
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