by Paul Carrick Brunson
Make sure you have someone who not only won’t get in the middle of you and your passion but cheers you on along the journey.
Knowing how to discern between a casual boyfriend and a man who can be a good husband is one of the areas I focus on when coaching my female clients. There are specific attributes those men with long-term potential exhibit. Here are 10 qualities to evaluate as you date in search of a husband.
He Has a Plan and Vision
Having life goals and most importantly, a strategy to reach those goals is a defining characteristic of someone ready to enter into a long-term partnership.
Is He Reliable?
A man with at least a slight amount of “bad boy” in him always sounds fun, but the bottom line is, the only thing consistent among all the guys like that I know is that they’re not consistent. Identify if his actions match his words.
Does He Demonstrate Selflessness?
“If your love is only a will to possess, its not love.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh
Does He Believe In You Too?
You will potentially spend more time with your spouse than anyone else in your life. Their perceptions and beliefs will undoubtedly influence you. Make sure you have someone who not only won’t get in the middle of you and your passion but cheers you on along the journey.
Is He Comfortable In His Own Skin?
We must remember that we can’t be comfortable with others until we are comfortable with ourselves.
Does He Fight Fair?
How we argue, especially how we end an argument, can determine the long-term success or failure of our relationship. Make sure he’s speaking with love, fighting fair and putting your happiness first when he does it.
Do His Values Match Yours?
I talk about this one in detail in my new book. Having shared values is critical because our value systems are our rulebook for our lives. Your partner should govern himself the same way you do, in order for you to rule your new life together.
Does He Complement Your Personality?
The two most important keys to a successful relationship are communication and problem resolution. The ability to do both of these with ease comes from having not the same, but complementary, personality types. You won’t get far without ‘em.
Are You Physically Attracted to Him?
This is the one topic I can’t believe people try to fight me on. Let me say it plainly: if you don’t find him sexy now, chances are when he’s aged a few decades, you won’t find him attractive then either. Think about it.
Are You Better With Him Than Without Him?
No disrespect to the “independent” women reading this, but when you’re in a marriage, neither independence nor dependence work. The key to a successful partnership is interdependence. You’re partners for life. Are you glad to be on his team?
Read this article in Essence
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