Women need a man that is secure not only financially, internally but physically as well.
Men often think they have all the answers when it comes to what women want and while some do have a pretty good idea, many other men are WAY off the mark. Most of the things about you or your character that you think the ladies love, nine times out of ten is the very reason she won’t even give you the time of day. Oh don’t worry fellas, we are well aware of the stares and cat calls you often make to get our attention.
We are aware you are talking to us as we walk past you and you hit us with the “Aye…Aye…Aye girl come here” or the infamous “Damnnnnnn, baby let me talk to you” but fellas in all honesty, we ignore you. And the fact of the matter is that we aren’t ignoring you to be rude, we ignore you because you’re rude. So in order to help the brothas out when it comes to women, here are 11 things that women look for in a man:
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11. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. If you approach a woman in a respectful manner, you’ve already earned yourself a couple brownie points. If she sees that you respect your mother (Do not confuse this with being a “mama’s boy”) then half the battle is already won, because a man that loves and respects his mother, with time will love and respect you. Now, keep in mind ladies this isn’t a one-way street, you have to ENTER the relationship demanding respect because the way you start a relationship is the way you finish it.
10. Be Attentive. Okay so we like compliments, who doesn’t. A woman wants to know that you pay enough attention to her to notice that she got a new cut or changed her hair color. She wants you to notice that she lost 5 pounds just from eating at Subway for a week, yeah it sounds stupid and annoying but just wait a few more years and you will find that you want her to do the same to you too.
9. Nice Appearance. Mind you this is number 9 because while it’s not at all all about looks, they are very important. For instance, not only is it a plus if you are handsome but if you are clean cut and smell nice as well. Keep in mind that the top 3 things women check out the moment they lay eyes on you is your teeth, nails and shoes. If a guy has nice teeth and clean nails, his hygiene is usually on point, and if he has nice shoes or big feet well then ladies you know….
8. Stability. Brothas, this one is important for a few reasons: first its’ important because women need to know that if for whatever reason either one of you fall, you have a back up plan to pick each other back up. The man’s job is to be the provider and women hold men to that very idea, if you are over 25, without a college degree or job/career honey, you are highly unstable. The second reason this is important is because it leads into the next factor:
7. Security. Women need a man that is secure not only financially, internally but physically as well. Please refer back to #8 for further explanation on the reasons women need financial security. Now men need to be internally secure so that your self-confidence never becomes an issue. Women need physical security from men because of the common role of the father figure (or any kind of male figure you’ve had in your life) in our life, once a man has a daughter one of his top priorities is to protect his daughter and that idea tends to carry on into many women’s adult lives. Typically, once the daughter becomes married, it is her man’s job to take on the role of her protector and provider (ladies keep in mind that it’s okay to be independent and have your man be all of these things as well).
6. Responsibility. Men we have to want to trust that you can be responsible and hold it down for us ladies. If you don’t take responsibility for your own business, we know that we definitely can’t count you to take responsibility for anything or anybody else. In other words, if you don’t pay your rent/bills on time every month but hop on a new pair of Jordan’s as soon as they come out, then we can’t count on you to not get ghost once a child is involved , which automatically deems you irresponsible.
5. A chase. After playing a game so long it gets boring because it is predictable, you already know what that person is going to do or say. Maybe you are highly attractive and you’ve grown accustomed to the opposite sex flocking to you, fellas this is your opportunity to do something she is not used to. This is your monkey wrench per se and get prepared to toss it her way, be her remix. Do something she is not used to and send her on a chase, make her say to herself “wait I thought he wanted me.” Send your girl on a SMALL chase and make her come to you first, just be mindful that this chase is small so don’t be disrespectful and don’t make it so dramatic. This can be confusing but just think of it in the sense that we always want what we can’t have, only she can have you she just has to work for it.
4. Maturity. Listen, If I wanted to deal with a kid I’d call “Chris Hansen With Dateline MSNBC.” In other words if you’re an adult, act like it. Women really cannot stand immature men so if you are immature either grow up or find an immature woman to be with.
3. Great Sex. This one can be tricky because it really just depends on who you are and your likes and dislikes. With some women bad sex is a total deal breaker and to some it’s either not that serious or looked at as something that can be taught.
2. Creativity. To be frank, dating can get a little tired if done too often and it can really become sort of redundant. Do something creative for me or to me, I don’t want you to do the same thing to me that Brian did in 02′, make me want to look forward to our time spent otherwise it will all start to look and feel the same.
1. Be emotionally involved. Now I understand that every man is simply not at that stage in there life where they are ready to sit down with their woman and fully communicate. Say it with me fellas, fully communicate. Fully Communicate as in a mutual conversation on things that mean a lot to you, not just you acting as if you’re listening to her ramble off into the wee hours of the morning about what one of her co-workers, whom you have never met, did to the copy machine at work. Make the conversation mutual, listen to her talk, give conscious feedback and vice vera. She tells you these things because she trusts that she can come to you and confide in you when she wants to get something off of her chest. Yeah so she gets a little beside herself and talks too much, if you really want to be with this woman then deal with it.
Men take this information with a grain of salt because you also have to approach the right woman and expect her to want these things (or similar) as well, if she is mature and sophisticated, this is likely what she is looking for. However, if she is immature and lacks class, this list probably doesn’t apply to her. Women, you can’t demand these things from a man unless you’ve got it together yourself. You cannot set out to expect class, respect and sophistication from a man when you have not yet reached these levels yourself.
What do you guys think a woman looks for in a man?
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.