by Melissa D’Costa
For most women being in relationship is the ultimate happiness,which is vital for her existence and contentment. She wants to share everything with her ‘soulmate
1. ‘What ifs?’ and ‘Should I have?’ questions plague women for a long time
Clinical psychologist and traumatologist, Dr Seema Hingorrany, says, “Most men put stuff in compartments and focus on one thing at a time depending on what they think is top priority. Women, on the other hand, tend to give emotions more priority and everything else comes after that as a result they are more likely to introspect about a failed romantic relationship than men. Also, because we live in a patriarchal society, a woman is conditioned to think about her family first and then about herself. As a result, most women are often plagued with doubts.
‘What ifs’ and ‘should I have’ become a part of her existence, unlike men who are encouraged to go out there and live their life as they please.” Media executive Sonal Shah, agrees with Seema, and adds, “When I look back at my life, I still regret the fact that I chose my parents over the guy I love. I let them dictate terms and agreed to a marriage within my same caste, and now I am frustrated and miserable wondering if I should have followed my heart.”
2. Don’t men have regrets too when it comes to failed romance?
Of course they do, it’s just that most men choose not to dwell on them says, Dr Rajiv Anand, psychiatrist and marriage counsellor. He adds, “For most women being in relationship is the ultimate happiness,which is vital for her existence and contentment. She wants to share everything with her ‘soulmate’. She wants to lean on someone and get the feeling of a secured future, financially and emotionally. This makes her more dependent on her man. Most men, on the other hand, tend to focus their energies on work and other responsibilities, and avoid visiting the past as they see that as a dead end.” Also, very few men will admit to regrets because they think it is not masculine to do so.
3. Why you should not live in the past
Pondering over a failed relationship will only bring you down, make you moody and leave you with a sense of helplessness. As a result you are more likely to be down, and may be in a perpetual state of depression, which is bad for your emotional well-being.
Read this article in iDiva
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