by Single Black Male
It’s finally time to delete all those pics and videos of your ex-girlfriend, favorite WSHH video vixen, and/or favorite adult film star and transition into becoming a family man. In college, adorning your dorm room with photos of your favorite video girl of the month was expected and downright cool. In your 30′s, decorating your home or cubicle with women a decade your junior is disturbing
1. CREATIVE FACIAL HAIR
Admittedly, this one kind of hurt my heart, because even at age 30 I still like to make creative facial hair designs every now and then. To make matters worse, they specifically called out the “handle bar!” Granted, I haven’t had a handle bar since turning 30, I didn’t know the style was forbidden! Just because I’m 30, I have to be plain faced? Say it aint so! I’ve already been forced to make peace with the loss of hair on my head and now it seems I have to manage the hair I have left on my face to a minimum.
2. RAMEN NOODLES
Unless you’re budget challenged, this should be a given. However, this requirement should be extended to include any meal that originates predominately from a package or microwaveable container. So that means say good-bye to those Hungry Man dinners and ravioli microwave containers. If the sodium content in these “meals” doesn’t kill you, the embarrassment of owning them should. No 30-year old man should be able to “cook” any dinner in under 3-minutes. So if tonight’s dinner content hasn’t changed much since college, step away from the microwave and get your life together.
3. AVOIDING THE DOCTOR
When’s the last time you had a physical? If you don’t know the answer to this question, correct it. Then, at least once every 12 months from that time, repeat! You aren’t 21 anymore. Man up and Get. It. Together.
4. PLASTIC VIDEO GAME INSTRUMENTS
The last gaming system I owned was a Sega Genesis, so this is a pretty easy requirement for me. Honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with a “grown man” playing video games as long as he properly prioritizes the importance of the games. If you play video games or involve yourself in fantasy leagues as a part-time hobby that minimally interferes with your day-to-day life, no problem. However, if you’re the type of guy that is willing to miss the birth of his first born or pass up sexual relations with your’re significant other so you can get on-line to play video games while talking into a microphone with another full-grown man who is making the same questionable life choices, or even more eerie, small-grown child, then you might want to take some time to re-evaluate your life as you head deeper into your 30s, before it’s too late.
5. SENTIMENTAL PR0N
Hey, I get it. You never thought you’d ever have enough game to get with the Senior AKA when you were a freshmen in college, yet somehow, not only did you manage to bag her, she – demonstrating her own questionable life choices – allowed you to tape the affair! Cool story, bro.
BUT THAT WAS 10 YEARS AGO!
It’s finally time to delete all those pics and videos of your ex-girlfriend, favorite WSHH video vixen, and/or favorite adult film star and transition into becoming a family man. In college, adorning your dorm room with photos of your favorite video girl of the month was expected and downright cool. In your 30′s, decorating your home or cubicle with women a decade your junior is disturbing, and reeks of the type of desperation you read about on the headlines of news papers from guys who end up in jail for hiding cameras in women’s bathrooms. It’s a slippery slope, sir. Don’t slip down that slope. Dispose of that sentimental filth, ASAP.
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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.