by Varun Swasthi

The mere mention of her ex may trigger enough emotions in you to start a fire, but have you ever thought how his missteps are great stepping stones to your success in love life? There’s a reason why he is the ex and you are her now.

The trick here is to pay heed to the most important things that he may have overlooked and work on those, so that you don’t get the axe. Read her signals and pay more attention to the horror stories related to her ex, so that you can learn a lesson or two from her boyfriends past.

His Mistake: He Sided with His Family

Your Move: Always Be There By Her Side

There always comes a time when you have to take sides, and that is exactly where the real challenge lies. Most women will have a teeny-weeny problem with your family. You need to handle this well, like a real man. If she complains about how her ex never took her side, that’s your cue. It’s important you make her realise that you are there for her, come what may. Tough call mate, tough call!

His Mistake: He Criticized Her

Your Move: Compliment Her. Often.

Please don’t believe all of her drunken banter about how she appreciates your constructive criticism. Constructive is fine, but it’s criticism nonetheless. So, keep it minimal. Most times women complain of lack of communication or they end up misinterpreting your “suggestions”. So, to avoid such confusion, learn to value time and place. Even if you want to talk to her and point out something that you didn’t really like, hold her hands and explain it to her. This shows you care and you aren’t just a complaint-box.

His Mistake: He Didn’t Kiss Her Enough

Your Move: Kiss Her. Duhh!

Well, don’t just get excited every time she leaves a note asking you to be back home early for a surprise. Show her you’re also equally attracted to her. And the best way to show her so is to kiss her. You don’t need to make good use of your lips only between the sheets. Surprise her once in a while—women are suckers for a good makeout session sans the sex. Especially, if she mentions that her ex never believed in lip-locking, you know what your next move should be.

His Mistake: He Was a Man Child

You Move: Show Her Your Mature Side

Being lovey-dovey and cutesy is only nice in the few weeks of being in a relationship, but what a woman really wants is an alpha male. Women like a man who’s mature in every way. Being playful might be nice once in a while, but cornering your responsibilities is definitely not a great sign. If you want to spend an afternoon watching your favourite team win the match, make sure you make up for it by cooking her a lovely meal at night. She will appreciate it and love you more for it.

His Mistake: His Food Habits Were Crap

Your Move: Match Your Eating Habits

Most couples put an end to their perfect relationship because of mismatching food habits. If she mentioned how her ex was a junk food addict, you know the catch. Women are generally more health conscious than men. While it does not mean that you have to survive on boiled veggies and fruits, it is also important that your food habits don’t have a heaven-hell difference. Work out your differences and negotiate a way out instead of giving yourselves a stupid reason to split. Similar priorities also mean healthier long-term relationships.

———————————-

Read more in MENSXP

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.