My people, my people, welcome!

The friendzone as you know, or may not know, is an apartment rented by women folk primarily (men zone too sha) for the men in their lives who they do not find either;

• Attractive
• Boyfriend material
• OR interesting enough to give a chance

Guys, this is an emotional space separated with the ‘DO NOT CROSS’ red tape of “Your friendship means a lot to me”, “Let’s not ruin what we have”, or ‘You’re like a brother/sister to me’. Either way, you’re screwed. Everyone who has lived in this zone once or twice, and those who have been paying rent there for years, can agree with me that there’s nothing as painful as liking someone who thinks of you as their bestie or brother/sister.

Getting out of the zone would require some serious work and determination, but it all pays off quite nicely you’ll see. Here are 10 legit ways to get you out of the zone;

ACCEPT you are in the friend zone. Stop

Stop jonzing, and tell yourself the truth. Your words or persistence would not change her mind just like magic, quit deceiving others and yourself that he/she’ll come around. This is the first step to freedom.

STOP calling and texting so much

We get it, he/she is like an addiction, you can’t seem to stay away but right now, you have to.  If you want a chance to get out of the zone, you need to take it down several notches. Giver her a break. She’s not running. You will not die if there’s no communication. You need to kill the pattern of calling and texting every single hour, trust me, when you stop, she knows and she’s wondering; ‘Oh he just disappeared all week, what’s happening?’

Now you have some of her attention.

STOP telling them your life history

You need to be a bit more mysterious and guarded with the information you share. You can’t give full disclosure and expect them to be curious about you, I mean you’ve shared everything there is already.

Telling her your life story is not what makes her likes you more, or want you as more than a friend or better still get into bed with you. Nope! You’ve told them everything and now they are bored, there’s no mystery or excitement of unraveling a person in bits. So, the less he/she knows, the more they’ll enjoy finding out. You hear?

ALLOW him/her to miss you

You’ve stopped calling and texting like a telecoms company and have left them wondering what the hell is going on. What you’ve done is to break whatever pattern you had going, and now they can feel something is missing. Before you know it, they want to know how you’re doing (why you’re not calling), what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with.

STOP buying gifts and spending money

This is very important in ensuring you’re not being used. If she can get you to take her shopping and pay for bills and you act like it’s all cool, of course, you’re heading to the friend zone. Santa Claus, Lol.

What this does is, it stops making it look like you’re trying to buy her attention or love, and so she pretends to like you too and stacks your luggage in the friend zone.

LET them handle their own problems

I know this is usually a guy thing. You think using your complex problem-solving skills would help you out here? Nah bro, leave that on your resume because you need to be doing the very opposite. Men naturally have the alpha trait, wanting to fix things, make it better, especially when their feelings are involved. She won’t see you as her hero or knight in shining armor and fall for you right back..so stop trying to make it all go away.

DONT be her girlfriend

Yeah, her girlfriend? The one she runs to when a guy is misbehaving or her shitty bf is acting up at 1 am. The one she shops for toiletries and shoes with, or the one giving her relationship advice when you’re in love with her and lastly don’t be the guy driving her wherever she goes so she can see you a “nice guy”. Except of course, you’re her Uber driver.

Try these trusted tips and see if you’re not dug out of the friend zone with a cranelift..