from Real Buzz
Whether you’ve been with your partner a few weeks, or a few years, there are always new things to learn about what the other wants from sex.
Enticing, thrilling and hot; would you use these words to describe your sex life? If not, then it’s time to take a look at our guide. You’ll soon be enjoying some sumptuous, pillow-biting sex:
Go back to school
Awkward teenagers, bells and bad food doesn’t sound romantic but reverting back to a pupil may put the kick back into your sex life. Whether you’ve been with your partner a few weeks, or a few years, there are always new things to learn about what the other wants from sex. Take it in turns to play the role of teacher and pupil. The teacher needs to take control, show the pupil what they want and how to do it. The pupil needs to listen, comply and also remember these frisky moves for later. Make sure you both get a go in each role and on different days.
Have a curry
If you want hot sex then take your date for a curry. A UK study has shown that you don’t even have to eat a curry to raise your heart rate, just thinking of your favourite spicy dish is enough to increase both your heart and your blood pressure to a level similar to one reached during sexual arousal. Spicy food was also found to release endorphins, which provided extra pleasure. After your curry, why not have a chili eating competition. A chemical found in spicy peppers, capsaicin, stimulates nerve endings, which means your sex will feel amazingly good.
Sex is a hugely intimate act and requires a lot of trust. Considering this, it’s not surprising that many people feel uncomfortable about sex. If you don’t feel confident, don’t worry, there are a few things you can try. You could play a new sport. Sport players have healthier relationships with their body because they value its function, not its aesthetic value. You could also invest in some sexy lingerie that covers areas you feel uncomfortable with. And remember, psychologists have found that people who are considered beautiful are just as likely to be unhappy as anyone else.
Never been touched?
Sex can become a routine; another thing to tick off your list. You do the same moves, the same tired tricks and it all gets a little bit dull. If this sounds familiar, stop. There are lots of new things and new places you can touch. The thighs and knees may not be the most obvious place to begin, but they often get overlooked and yet they are very sensitive spots. Another neglected part of their body is the fingertips. Take their hand and rub their palms, then pull on their fingers. Touching each other in new ways is simple, exciting and fun.
Play a game
If foreplay has become a timed race to see who can turn off the lights, pull off their clothes and reach the safety of the covers first then it is definitely time you learnt how to slow down. Take a pack of cards and play a game you both know well. The loser must remove one item of clothing. Once you have both stripped off, continue the game, but this time the winner can choose an act they’d like the loser to perform on them. Keep a timer close by, so the game progresses. Playing this game will not only allow you to enjoy each other it will also build sexual tension.
Doing bad things we shouldn’t do is a turn on. Everyone enjoys it, but only the daredevils seem to give it a go. A fun and safe way that would allow you to take your loving outdoors is to find a compromise. You could have sex in the secrecy of your garden, or your balcony if it is secluded. Make sure both of you are comfortable and take necessary accessories, such as a blanket or pillow. Having sex outdoors will give you huge adrenalin surges, which not only make you feel great, you’ll also perform better than normal. Be safe though; if you get caught expect trouble.
You’re a brother, you’re a sister, you’re a wife, husband, dad or mum. When you get under the covers though, it’s important to forget who you are during the day. Adopting another persona in bed helps you de-stress and become sexy. There are lots of tools or accessories you can use to help you make the transition. You could wear a costume, a wig or even some exotic make-up. Play with different looks until you feel comfortable. Dressing up will give you a confidence boost, make your sex fresher and enable you to try new things with ease.
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.