by David Ingber
Look, it’s 2013. I don’t care if the man or the woman picks up the tab, or if you go halfsies, or your thruple goes thirdsies. But paying for a woman you like or love is a privilege, not a burden
1. He answers your text questions in a way that intentionally does not lead to more conversation. If “hey, wanna get some ice cream on Saturday?” is met with “ok,” you’re not off to a great start. Who doesn’t want to talk more about ice cream?
2. His body language is very withdrawn right after sex. He can, and damn well should, snuggle with you while giving you a tour of the refractory factory.
3. He looks annoyed that he “has to” pay for food and drinks. Look, it’s 2013. I don’t care if the man or the woman picks up the tab, or if you go halfsies, or your thruple goes thirdsies. But paying for a woman you like or love is a privilege, not a burden, no matter how broke you are/I was.
4. He doesn’t care if you catch him looking at other women. Every straight man checks out the attractive women in a bar. Whatever. If, however, he’s trying to be super sneaky about it, he respects your opinion of him.
5. He fails to remember details about previous dates. Men don’t typically recall lovey-dovey details naturally, but we know that women are impressed with us when we do. So, if he’s into you, he’ll make a mental note of a hairclip you were wearing or some off-the-cuff joke you made so he can reference it on a later date. If he’s not into you, that’s just a whole lotta effort.
6. He’s not psyched about inviting you to meet his friends. If you have to ask him six different times to meet his friends, his opinion of you is “meh.” Guys always want to show off their hot, cool new girlfriend to their male friends. UNLESS IT’S FOOTBALL NIGHT THEN NO GURLS ALLOWED!
7. He breaks up with you, but still texts you late at night. Let’s be clear: these are not “I still have feelings for you” texts. These are “I want to have sex with you” texts. If this seems obvious to you, then congratulations, you’ve cracked the code. Men still want to have sex with women they don’t particularly like.
8. He mentions your physical flaws, particularly when you haven’t really established that level of intimacy. He might just be a dick, but more likely, he’s employing the deplorable tactic of “negging.” He’s trying to make you feel like shit, which lowers your self-esteem, which makes you want to sleep with him. Or something like that.
9. If you ever get a “hmmm, you’re still here?” vibe from him when you’re at his apartment. Obviously, don’t stay over his place for three straight days when you’ve first met, but if you both wake up on a Saturday, and he’s weirded out that you didn’t sneak out in the middle of the night, he ain’t into you.
Read this article in Cosmopolitan
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