In a time when women are being ignored, ostracised, underappreciated, and murdered, these women have stood up, ten toes down, and said “no more” to the world that we live in.

They have decided to fight against patriarchy and traditional societal beliefs, and they have chosen to lead the fight for women’s freedom through outreaches, organising walks, holding Spaces on X (formerly Twitter), Zoom meetings, and having speeches at events.

These women, harsh as they may seem, only have women’s best interests at heart; they don’t mind going against the world (man and society), as long as they achieve their goals primarily focused on the survival of women and the girl-child.

I sat through a phone chat with these women as they opened up to me about their visions and missions of their activism in Nigeria. I asked these tough and brave women questions about their feminism as they are at the forefront, championing the fight against the patriarchal society in Nigeria.

The founder of Herbode, Sinmiloluwa, hopes for a world where every woman has access to education, the founder of PadHer, Shamsiya Ibrahim Yusuf, a student of Ahmadu Bello University, stands tall and firm in her fight against feminism despite her family’s beliefs, and the founder of Siren, Atilola Adeyinka, does not want feminism to be an echo chamber.

Good evening to you all, and thank you for taking the time to grace this interview with your presence. I have seven questions to ask of you this evening; if that is fine with you.

All three: Yeah, sure. No problem.

Okay. What made you realise you wanted to be a feminist? Do you mind giving a little story on how that happened?

Sinmiloluwa: Hmm… I can’t say that there was a specific point in time, there was actually no conscious thought to it that “okay, this is when I’m starting Feminism”. I was born the only girl out of five children and I noticed the disparity in the way we were treated growing up. Though I come from what you call a ‘progressive family’, like you can do anything even though you’re a girl, there were some things that they still thought that you should not do. You couldn’t go out late at night even though your brothers could and I always say that maybe I was born a feminist because I was a very curious child, and maybe because I grew up among boys and have always been conscious of the fact that we are being treated differently, but there was no particular point in time that I actually sat down to say I would become a feminist.

Shamsiya: My first introduction to feminism and fighting for women was from Facebook actually, I think I saw Chimamanda’s quote, I can’t remember exactly what it was but I saw one of her interviews and she was speaking at a university in the US and I was quite interested in that so I started doing my own research on finding out the basics of feminism, but I think that on the low, I have always known that there was something wrong with our system, especially because of the fact that I live in the northern part of Nigeria so there are issues I have seen, like the child marriage, I have always had an issue with that but I didn’t know how to classify myself till I started looking into Chimamanda’s interviews and I think there was a time when someone told me about how she wanted a job but she wasn’t given the job because she was a lady and that triggered my thought process. So, my research on the problems in society made me decide to become a feminist.

Atilola: For me, it’s just like Sinmiloluwa, I don’t think there was ever any point of realisation, I feel like that has always just been like a thing for me, I’ve never been comfortable with a lot of inequalities that women have had to face in a country like Nigeria where misogyny and the patriarchy are so strong, I kind of grew up not wanting to be told that you have to learn how to cook because what if your husband likes eating something. I don’t think there was ever a point of realisation, it was just in me.

That’s fine, thank you. Can you share a moment when you first stood up against sexism?

Sinmiloluwa: I would say it was when I was in school. I loved to watch football, and I think that I was in the 200 level, and I wanted to go watch football at night, and then they allowed the guys to go, but then said, ‘You’re a girl, you can’t go’. I was shocked, like how? We are all students, you’re allowing the boys to go out but I can’t go because I’m a girl? I asked if there was any other reason and they said no, that it was late at night. I told them that the guys were also going out late at night and we were all going to watch the same match so why was it okay for them and not for me? They said I was a girl and what was I doing watching football? I had to clear my mind and say some things that probably weren’t savoury to one’s ears.

Shamsiya: I think it was my first year in university, I was vying for the position of class representative but only men were made class representatives and the women were made assistant representatives because of this cliché notion that women cannot be leaders, so I wasn’t allowed to be the class representatives and was instead made the assistant.

Atilola: I don’t remember, but I think the one I would remember was probably from my uncle; I think it was something relating to cleaning the house, and he was asking my mum why she would want my brother to do it when it should be my job to do it. I remember being annoyed and asking why I should do it and not him (my brother) and because of the kind of home I grew up in, my mum wasn’t gender-conforming when it came to chores, like you would do whatever chores were available regardless of your gender, so hearing that from my uncle was jarring. So that was the first time that I told myself that ‘yeah, absolutely not, we are not doing that.’

What was your home life like, and how did it shape your views on gender roles?

Sinmiloluwa: As I said earlier, my family is what you will call a progressive family, but I was also raised by my grandmother, who was a very traditional woman. She practically raised me so it was always ‘Do this because you know you are going to your husband’s house’, ‘learn how to cook’, mind you, I don’t like cooking, so if she asked if I’d eaten, I would tell her that I wasn’t hungry just because I did not want to cook. Every time she brought up the topic of doing something because of my “husband’s house”, I would intentionally not do it. So I think the influence of my dad being very supportive of me regardless of whatever I wanted to do, played a positive role because if I’d been left to grow up with my grandma, I would have grown up to be a ‘pick me’. I think my father’s influence helped offset my grandma’s influence in my life.

Shamsiya: My mum is not a feminist, but we don’t live the typical northern life. I have two younger brothers and I am the first born. In most northern families, the girl stops her education at secondary school and then she gets married and there is also the issue of boys not doing chores, but my house is quite different because both of my parents are educated and my mum grew up in a home where her mum always insisted that her brothers learned how to cook and do chores so when she got married, she also raised her family the same way. My younger brothers also do chores. My father is not interested in hearing about me getting married as he wants me to have a Masters degree. That kind of made it easier for me to accept feminism because they might not align with my ideologies, but at least there are these basic, simple things that they allow me to have as a girl child.

Atilola: Um… in regards to feminism and the patriarchy, my home life was pretty very welcoming of my views because I grew up with a father who would cook, wake up on weekends to clean the house when he wasn’t at work, I grew up with a father that would wash our clothes and my mum’s clothes, all of that. My mum was also not the type of mother that would force me to learn things for the sake of my husband. She wanted both my brother and I to learn the same values and chores. I have two siblings, an elder brother and a younger sister. I am the second child.

As a feminist, how do you support the rights of other groups, like the LGBTQ+ community?

Sinmiloluwa: As a feminist, I support women and a lot of women are queer, so I think being a feminist is supporting them because there is no way you exclude the LGBTQ+ out of your feminism without excluding a large number of women. I think it should be a given as a feminist, to support the LGBTQ+ community.

Shamsiya: I have not physically done anything that supports their rights, which is something I am looking into doing in the future, but presently, I basically agree that love is love and everybody can do whatever they like. I try to inform people that everyone is allowed to live their lives the way they want as long as they are not harming anyone.

Atilola: I would say for Siren that we are mostly women-centred, so our focus is on all women, heterosexual and queer women; we just support them by giving them a community. For me personally, it is by helping them use my platform and my voice to be a safe space for them and to know that when they do need help, there’s space from me and Siren.

Thank you, that’s a fine answer. What do your family members think about your feminist beliefs? 

Sinmiloluwa: They find it very disturbing. The type of feminism I would say I practise is somewhat edging towards misandry, so they find it disturbing. One time, one of my brothers asked, “Where did we go wrong? How can you say men are bad when your family loves you? How can you say you hate men?” I tell them that there are women who are being harmed by their families, so what happens to those women? I think they mostly find it disturbing and worrying. My grandma is very old, and we no longer live together, but my father said my choice of words, like calling myself a “bitter feminist”, is harsh.

Shamsiya: I don’t really have these conversations with my family, because the last conversation I had with them concerning social issues left me unsatisfied, so my family just know that there are things that I would not agree to or things that I would not do, but they don’t know that I’m a feminist or that I own an NGO.

Atilola: I don’t think it’s a conversation that we’ve had so much that would make me say that I know what they think about it, but from what I know, my mum is always so proud of me and always bragging to people that her daughter is a feminist and owns an NGO, so I know have the acceptance from my mum which is the most important to me. My brother is in alignment with my views and my dad is late. I don’t talk to my other family members so I wouldn’t know what they think about my beliefs.

What have you done to help raise awareness for women and girls in Nigeria?

Sinmiloluwa: I’m the founder of an NGO, Herbode, and we educate young girls because I believe that when women have education, education gives you knowledge and knowledge gives you power at the end of the day. This equips you to want to make better decisions because there are some women who are not educated and don’t actually know better to choose better for themselves. Apart from the ‘Educate A Girl Child Project’ that we do in Herbode, we also have a community of women where we talk about feminism in general, and, we also have a community of girls or sororities in different universities across Nigeria, I think for now, we have in two universities, and through these communities, sisterhoods, we are trying to empower women with knowledge, we are trying to educate them that they can choose and do better for themselves and for the generation of girls coming after them.

Shamsiya: I would say that would be “Pad Her With Love,” my NGO, I have tried my best to use that as an avenue to raise awareness for girls and sometimes when we go out for outreach, I also try to sneak in a bit of feminist values because there are certain things that I cannot say publicly in the north for my own safety so I try to share bits and pieces of feminism like telling them that a man shouldn’t tell them that he has to sleep with them before he pays for their pads. It’s not much, but hopefully, when I have the freedom to move about, I will do more.

Atilola: Honestly, the greatest thing I have done is creating Siren. Siren is not just an NGO but we are a community, and in our community, we discuss things that would usually be given the silent treatment like conversations that Nigerians generally don’t touch. On sirens, we teach and start up conversations on topics that are seen as taboos, so I will say that what I have done is give women a space, a platform to be able to discuss things, we’ve also gone to schools that teach on reproductive and sexual health, done walks to educate women and men against sexual assault and harassment in states across Nigeria.

When were your NGOs founded?

Sinmiloluwa: August 2023.

Shamsiya: February 14, 2023.

Atilola: October 2020.

Final question, what are your hopes and dreams for the future of feminism?

Sinmiloluwa: That’s an interesting one, I have a lot of hopes and dreams. Okay, I will say for the future of feminism, I hope that generally, we have a world where every woman has access to education because there are places in and out of Nigeria where women are not allowed to school, but for feminism in general, I hope we arrive at a point where we do not care. Yes, we care so much and that is what is holding us back in everything. We care so much about the opinion of our parents, the opinion of men, especially the opinion of men, so I hope we arrive at a point where we do not care. When we stop caring, then we can do almost anything.

Shamsiya: I hope that in the near future, femicide reduces to zero and I don’t have to wake up daily to see that a woman has been murdered by a man, I hope that in the near future, I, as a girl, can walk on the street late at night without having to look over my back in fear that someone is following me. I basically just hope that it gets to a point where feminists don’t have to fight for their basic rights anymore. We are allowed to exist as women, not as mothers, daughters, or sisters, but as our own persons. That we can get the basic human rights that we deserve.

Atilola: From the standpoint of a feminist in Nigeria, for starters, I would like feminism not just to be an echo chamber. One thing I realise is that people don’t really pay attention to it because “Twitter feminists” or “Online feminists” are so loud, everyone thinks that feminism is such a big thing in Nigeria but when you go outside, you realise that it’s really not, there are so many people that don’t know enough that you would like for them to know. And for feminism, I want it to be a thing for the younger generation, I want them to be feminists, I want them to aspire to have feminist beliefs, I want them to create safe spaces for women and feminists, I want them to reject societal norms, I want them to break down the patriarchy.

Just to clarify, what are your visions for your NGOs?

Sinmiloluwa: Herbode is taking the route of education to educate women.

Shamsiya: PadHer is working towards ending period poverty.

Atilola: Siren creates a community for women, legally, financially, mentally, and emotionally.