9 traits women find attractive in men

by Carmelia Ray

For all the men out there wondering what women really want in a man it boils down to several key personality traits that women find attractive. Although there are literally hundreds of “traits” that can be used to describe a person, the following list is what the majority of women I’ve encountered and interviewed across the country express what it is they want in their “ideal man”.

Traits Women Find Attractive:


Women want to be with a man who is going somewhere or has the desire to be successful at whatever he’s pursuing. A man who has big dreams and goals and going after it is very attractive. Too often I hear complaints from women about their partners who have become “complacent”, sort of stuck in a rut. Having ambition shows characteristics of a leader, and most women are happy to support and follow a leader.


Let’s face it, if a man is “attractive” to a woman then there is usually great chemistry and interest in the relationship. Women appreciate a man who takes care of himself and is concerned about his appearance. Men can also “let themselves go” and look dishevelled and worn down. I often hear women say that they don’t want a couch potato or a man with a beer belly. Looks do matter to women and even more so if she keeps herself looking great. It is easy to identify a man that takes care of himself because he also has a confidence about himself because he feels good about his looks. Men who rank high in self image are definitely more desirable to women and will likely have more success in the dating world. Attractive men pride themselves in their appearance and is clear on a first date with a woman. The men that do not take care of themselves or take the extra time to prepare for their first date, will have less chance for success or a second date.


Cuddling and snuggling seem to be a favorite pastime for women. Women appreciate a man who is not afraid to show his physical affection and interest in her. Any man that displays affection is sure to receive it return equally if not doubled.


There are many women out there that are looking for a man that’s not afraid of the “C” word. Commitment to the relationship is very important to a woman and a man that shows he is not afraid of commitment is extremely attractive to a woman. The typed of commitment that women are looking for is one that is lasting. Commitment implies he is also a responsible person and someone that is not going to walk away when the going gets tough. He is a “for better or for worse” type of guy. A man that shows commitment is not afraid of obligation and a woman certainly feels safer and more secure with a man that’s committed.


Communication is a key trait for maintaining and keeping any sort of relationship. A man who is communicative is a dream come true for most women. Women are already guilty of “talking to much” so to be able to have a back and forth conversation with a willing partner of the opposite sex is a huge bonus! It is often said that men are not as verbal when expressing themselves and you sometimes have to pry it out of a man for him to talk about his “feelings”. So if a man is communicative and not afraid of sharing his thoughts and opinions, this is a very desirable trait.


Most women use this term to describe the type of man that they want to be with. Who wants a rigid stuffy stick in the mud? A guy who’s down to earth is someone that’s easy to get along with. He’s calm, cool, relaxed and fun to be with. He’s the type of guy that makes you feel comfortable and doesn’t easily anger or get worked up over the little things. He’s someone with a good heart and the type of person you can introduce to friends and family.

Family oriented

A lot of women when they are dating a guy will want to find out quickly what type of relationship the man has with his family, especially with his mother and siblings. This is often interpreted as a “tell” or great “indicator” of whether or not he is family oriented. Depending on the age of the woman and if she wants to have children, raise a family or already has kids; this trait becomes increasingly important in seeing whether he may be a good “father figure” and role model. Many relationships have failed because of the difference in values when it comes to their views on family and the importance of maintaining a relationship with their family members. It is not uncommon for families to meet once a week as a group or regularly and dragging your partner to a family get together is not a sign of compatibility when it comes to family values.


What woman does not want a man that’s honest? An honest man is an attractive man. Honesty is one of the TOP 3 desirable traits of all time in a man. There are countless stories of failed relationships that ended because of a breach of honesty. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without it, there is no relationship. If a woman finds a man who is honest and she trusts him, there is a very solid bond and a great foundation for a long-lasting relationship.


Women find intelligent men very attractive. In some cases, I’ve known women to prioritize intelligence over attractiveness and looks. Being able to carry on a bright, interesting conversation with a man and being intellectually stimulated is also a very big turn on. There are hundreds of women that carry on executive roles in the professional work force and require a man that she can take with him to important events and not fear the only thing he can talk about is Monday night football or his highest score on Xbox’s “Halo” last  night.

So gentleman, if you want to have an edge on dating and becoming more attractive to women. Review some of the most popular traits above and see if you can develop your own traits to become more attractive to women. We know that there are so many traits that women find attractive and we definitely will explore more of them in articles to come. In the mean time, have fun dating and developing your skills at becoming a more attractive desirable man that all women are searching for!



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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