Adedunmade Onibokun: 2 Words Nigeria needs: Empathy and Humane (30 Days, 30 Voices)

Last night while sitting with my friends in a pub in Victoria Island, Lagos waiting for the usual 3rd mainland traffic to subside, a Briton sitting a few feet from me launched into a diatribe attacking Nigerian politicians and the way they have channelled the cause and faith of the Nation. After realising that I was quietly paying attention to his outburst, he raised his voice a notch and continued to yab the political class, “all Nigerian politicians are the same” he said, irrespective of their parties, Nigeria is f***** and you are all doing nothing about it he continued to the affirming nod of his female companion.

On my seat, I had begun a journey to that place in my mind reserved for gnawing over the many problems and frustrations constantly plaguing my Nation and its many citizens. Running through my mind were the myriad of solutions proposed by many scholars, lawyers, policy makers and commoners but a simple solution stuck in my mind and it came from my observations while studying for a Masters degree and living in London.

I noticed two things during my stay that were quite alien to me after being raised in Lagos for many years. First, everyone held the door for the person coming in or out of a room behind them irrespective of who it was. Secondly, motorists let others pass ahead of them without trying to force their way through first. As simple and un-important as this might seem to the scheme of things, those simple acts said a lot about the culture of the people.

In essence, everyone there had basic empathy and a very humane disposition to others around them. Two characteristics that are severally lacking in the Nigerian culture today, as everyone, is out there to get rich for himself, not minding who suffers for his selfish gain. Selfishness is so enshrined in our nature that you begin to understand the origin of certain local quotes, an example is the Yoruba saying that goes “Ti t`eni kan o ba baje, ti elomiran o ki n daa” which means “A man’s fortunes must go wrong, so another can be successful”. In a world where we have winners and losers, you may agree with the saying but does this mean my success must depend on another’s failure? My guess is that many people believe so and that exactly is where I find a fault.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines Empathy, as the ability to understand and share the feelings of someone else while Humane is defined as showing kindness and concern towards others. Do you think Nigerians have these characteristics?

If we did,

  1. Will gunmen attack and kill innocent students and worshippers?
  2. Will elected public officers ignore the pains of the electorate and embezzle the funds meant to equip hospitals, construct roads, provide jobs and pay salaries?
  3. Will our Police be left at the mercy of armed robbers without bulletproof vests and a lack of adequate training?
  4. Will hospitals reject suffering patients because they can’t afford to pay the bills?
  5. Will University lecturers request bribes or sexual favours before awarding good grades to a student?
  6. Will the Chibok girls still be held in captivity?
  7. Will cultists continue to maim one another on our campuses?
  8. Will we all continue to pursue happiness and comfort to the detriment of others?
  9. Will we in the south, hear thousands of people in the North are displaced and many lives are being taking daily but still not get so revved up enough to march on Aso Rock and demand immediate action beyond scripted statements of investigations that get forgotten or abandoned?

I think not. With empathy and being humane, we will have the next man at the back of our minds when doing everything. We will ensure our actions do not harm him either directly or indirectly and we will protect him when we see harm coming his way. But rather, we ignore the pains of others, we see a man convulsing on the road and just watch without trying to get him help, we see a wrong being meted to our fellow Nigerian and we look away saying; Let him carry his cross, all man for himself. What has happened to our humanity?

If our attitudes do not change, then it really will be all man for himself. Our Nation will degenerate below the point where we are and every tribe will find its square-root. We will harm and kill ourselves for a share of National resources and our mistrust for one another will be our downfall.

I know the government, local leaders and even you the reader know and agree with the aforementioned position within our polity but what are we doing about it? Should we just continue to write, read and observe or do we stretch out in empathy and a humane spirit to everyone around us. Tell me, what will you do?

———-

Adedunmade Onibokun

Adedunmade is a lawyer whose practise is based in Lagos, Nigeria. He holds an LLM from the University of Bradford and publishes the law blog Legalnaija. You can find him on twitter via @adedunmade.

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